If you’re looking for a film with a plot so simple a cocker spaniel could follow it, then move along, because The Big Bounce is here to make you feel like you’ve been hit on the head with a baseball bat. This so-called “caper” movie is a mess of half-baked cons, beautiful people in swimsuits, and the kind of “laid-back” attitude that makes you want to smack someone. Owen Wilson plays Jack Ryan, a character with the energy of a beached whale, who gets tangled up with a femme fatale who, frankly, couldn’t find her way out of a paper bag. It’s all a big, sunny, confusing-as-all-hell waste of time.
This remake of a film I’d never heard of, based on a book by some guy named Elmore Leonard, tries to be a smart, breezy comedy, but it ends up being about as smart as a doorknob and as breezy as a hurricane. The whole thing is set in Hawaii, so at least you get to look at the scenery while you try to figure out what the heck is going on. There’s a crooked judge, a shady real estate developer, and a whole lot of double-crossing that makes no sense. By the end, you’ll be rooting for the credits just so the madness can stop. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Review by Ben Dover
Well, slap me with a tiki torch and call me Don Ho! Just when I thought Hollywood had run out of ways to waste beautiful Hawaiian scenery, along comes “The Big Bounce” to prove that sometimes, paradise is just another word for cinematic purgatory.
Good Lord, where do I even begin with this one? The Big Bounce is a movie so inept it makes a silent film look like a marvel of modern storytelling. It’s got a cast that would make you think it’s a good film. You’ve got Owen Wilson, who plays his typical Owen Wilson character. He drawls his way through Hawaii looking perpetually stoned, which might explain why he thinks getting involved with Sara Foster’s Nancy is a good idea. Kid’s got a death wish sharper than a pineapple’s crown. I must say though that I’ve seen more convincing bad girls at a church bake sale. You’ve got Morgan Freeman who appears as a judge, because apparently, even Oscar winners need vacation money. He delivers his lines with the enthusiasm of a man reading his grocery list, which might actually be more interesting than what’s happening on screen.
And you’ve got Charlie Sheen, who I’m not even sure was sober when he shot his scenes. It’s like they all got together and decided, “Let’s see how little effort we can put in and still get paid.”
The plot bounces around more than a superball in a tile bathroom. Something about a real estate scam, stolen money, and more double-crosses than a tic-tac-toe tournament. It’s based on an Elmore Leonard novel, which is like watching someone turn filet mignon into Spam – technically possible, but why would you want to? Wilson’s character, a guy named Jack Ryan who is apparently a petty thief and surfer bro, gets to Hawaii and gets mixed up with some other bad people. There’s a chick named Nancy who is as dumb as a post, but she’s easy on the eyes, so I guess that’s all that matters to the youth these days. She wants to pull a big con on her rich boyfriend, played by Gary Sinise, who, by the way, looks like he’s about to have an aneurism in every scene he’s in. This whole film is like a group of college kids trying to pull off a bank robbery they saw in a movie. Nobody knows what they’re doing, and it all falls apart in the most predictable way.
They call this a “crime caper.” I’ve seen more criminal activity at a bingo hall. The “cons” they pull are so boneheaded and nonsensical that I was cringing in my seat. They break into a house, a gay cop is in the shower, and Wilson and the girl run away like a couple of chickens with their heads cut off. What the hell was the point of that scene? And the so-called “Big Bounce” is so laughably stupid you’ll wonder if you’ve been had. The movie tries to be cool and slick, but it feels like an old man trying to wear skinny jeans. It just doesn’t work.
The Hawaiian setting is gorgeous, I’ll give it that. But using paradise as a backdrop for this mess is like using the Mona Lisa as a coaster – wasteful and mildly offensive to anyone with taste.
I don’t understand how anyone could greenlight this film. The pacing is terrible, the dialogue is clunky, and the whole thing feels like it was put together with duct tape and a wish. It jumps from one meaningless scene to another with no flow. I spent the entire time wondering if I was missing something, but no, it’s just that bad. And the ending… oh, the ending. It’s supposed to be a clever twist, but you saw it coming a mile away. It makes you feel like the filmmakers think you’re an idiot. It’s an insult to the intelligence of a rock.
Is “The Big Bounce” the worst caper movie ever made? Nah, but it’s definitely in the running for most disappointing. It’s got all the ingredients for a decent crime flick but manages to cook them into something blander than hospital food.
Maybe if you’re some teenager who thinks Owen Wilson’s little whisper-voice is the height of comedy, you might get a kick out of this. But for a grown man who has seen a few movies in his day, this is a cinematic crime against humanity. The only thing I can say is it’s a good film to have on in the background if you’re doing something else, like a jigsaw puzzle or sorting your mail. You won’t miss a thing.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go reread some actual Elmore Leonard to cleanse my palate. Maybe “Get Shorty” or “Out of Sight” – you know, adaptations that actually understood the source material.
Ben Dover
The Stars
- Owen Wilson as Jack Ryan: He plays his usual role of a charming but slightly dim-witted goofball. This time, he’s a drifter and a petty thief who likes to surf. He’s got his hair-brained charm, but it’s not enough to save this shipwreck.
- Sara Foster as Nancy Hayes: She’s the eye candy of the film. A model-turned-actress who is about as convincing as my dog pretending to be a cat. She wears a bikini in every other scene, so at least there’s that.
- Morgan Freeman as Walter Crewes: He’s a crooked judge. He’s got that voice that could make a phone book sound like a Shakespearean play, but he doesn’t use it for much here. Just kind of mumbles his way through it.
- Gary Sinise as Ray Ritchie: The bad guy. He’s a land developer who is mad all the time.
- Charlie Sheen as Bob Rogers Jr.: Ray Ritchie’s yes-man. He is as believable as a politician making a campaign promise.
- Vinnie Jones as Lou Harris: The angry construction foreman who gets a baseball bat to the head. Honestly, the only character I had any sympathy for.
Special Effects & Music
The special effects in this film consist of slow-motion shots of people surfing and a lot of beautiful Hawaiian scenery. They didn’t even try to do anything fancy, which is probably for the best. The music is a bunch of generic “laid-back” island tunes. It’s what you’d expect to hear at a hotel buffet in Maui. It’s a waste of the composer’s talent.
Rating
★☆☆☆☆
Famous Quotes
- “I’ve got a bad shoulder here.” – Lou Harris
- “You shut up, coconut nigger.” – Lou Harris
- “Harris, Harris, Harris, you can’t say coconut nigger. Not really in this day and age.” – Jack Ryan
- “You’ve got to put your faith in people, not God. He’s just an imaginary friend for grown-ups.” – Walter Crewes
- “What’s ‘B and E’?” – Nancy Hayes
- “Sometimes things are exactly as they appear.” – Walter Crewes
- “We’re friends. But it’s the type of friendship where if you’re in trouble, I probably won’t be there for you. Just like I wouldn’t expect you to be there for me. It’s a more honest friendship. It’s not this phony thing.” – Jack Ryan
Interesting Notes
- The film is based on a 1969 novel by Elmore Leonard, but the setting was moved from Michigan to Hawaii to make it more appealing to audiences. I guess they couldn’t find a decent script, so they figured they would just show us some palm trees and call it a day.
- The film showcases Hawaii’s North Shore, featuring beautiful scenery that is often cited as more memorable than the movie’s plot itself.
- The original director, George Armitage, had his first cut of the film rated NC-17. The producers cut it down to a PG-13, and Armitage quit. It shows. It looks like it was edited with a meat cleaver.
- The film was a massive flop, making only $6.8 million against a $50 million budget. It’s a good example of what happens when you have too much money and no clue what to do with it.
- Author Elmore Leonard hated the film. He said, “I don’t think anybody in the picture knew what it was about.” He said it was so bad he didn’t even remember the first movie.
- The movie includes cameos and supporting appearances by well-known actors, including Charlie Sheen and Gary Sinise, giving the otherwise light plot some notable star power.
- The film has no special effects other than the scenery and the actors’ expressions of pure confusion.
Box Office
The Big Bounce was a box office flop, earning approximately $6.8 million worldwide against its $50 million production budget. Most of its revenue came from domestic ticket sales, with $6.49 million grossed in the U.S. and a modest $319,000 from international markets.
The film garnered a very low 16% rating on Rotten Tomatoes and received a “D” Cinemascore from audiences, reflecting widespread disappointment.
Viewers described the film as dull, unfocused, and uncertain in genre, failing as both a comedy and a crime caper.
The movie was originally rated NC-17, then re-edited for an R rating, and finally released as PG-13, resulting in tonal confusion and inconsistent content and leading to a “sanitized” film that likely alienated both fans of edgy crime comedies and mainstream audiences.
Elmore Leonard himself called it “the second-worst movie ever made,” behind only the first Big Bounce adaptation.
Photos
