Live-Action Dragons Are Here And My Grumpiness Is On A Budget
The big news this week is that the movie folks decided we needed to see a real-life version of that story where Vikings pretend they live in a cold place while looking like they just stepped out of a shampoo commercial. Universal Pictures has brought us a live-action remake of the 2010 cartoon, hoping we will all forget that we’ve already seen this exact same thing before. It is the same Island of Berk, the same dragons, and the same plot about a kid who doesn’t want to kill things, just with more expensive lighting and real dirt.
The story follows Hiccup, a boy who is about as sturdy as a blade of grass in a hurricane. He lives in a village where everyone else is built like a refrigerator and spends their time shouting at the sky. Instead of becoming a dragon slayer, he befriends a black dragon that looks like a giant, flying gecko. It is meant to be a grand epic about friendship and understanding, but mostly it is just an excuse to see how much money they can spend on making a lizard look like it has feelings.
Review by Ben Dover
Now look, I’ve been around the block a few times and I usually have a policy that remakes are a waste of perfectly good electricity. Especially when the animation in the first was so great. But I have to admit, I have a bit of a soft spot for this particular lizard story. I wrote back in 2010 that it was the first time I ever wanted to hug a lizard, and seeing it again with real actors hasn’t changed my mind too much. It is still a story with a brain, which is a rare thing in a world where most movies are just loud noises and people in spandex punching each other.
Mason Thames plays Hiccup, and he does a fine job of looking like he’s never seen a weight room in his life. He’s got that Jay Baruchel energy from the original, sounding like his voice hasn’t quite decided where it wants to settle down. He meets the dragon, Toothless, and they go through the whole dance of learning to trust each other. Even though I knew exactly what was going to happen, I didn’t hate watching it. It’s a bit like my favorite recliner; it’s old and I’ve seen it before, but it still feels right.
Of course, I still can’t stand the way these Viking kids act. They all talk like they’re waiting for their Uber to arrive so they can go to a kale smoothie shop. Nico Parker plays Astrid, and while she’s tough, she looks way too clean for someone who lives in a hut and fights monsters. And the other kids? They are just a bunch of loudmouths who spend the whole movie making quips that no Viking in history would ever understand. If I talked to my father the way these kids talk to their elders, I’d have been sleeping in the barn with the goats for a month.
Gerard Butler is back as the dad, Stoick, and he is the best part of the whole mess. He’s the only one who actually sounds like a Viking, mostly because he’s just using his real accent and shouting. He reminds me of the guy who used to run the hardware store back home; he didn’t say much, but when he did, you listened or you got out of the way. When he and the boy have their big arguments, it actually feels like a real family dispute, even if one of them is wearing a cape made of bear fur.
The big climax is still a bit of a CGI circus, but it has heart. They kept the ending where the kid loses his leg, which I always respected. It shows that life isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, even in a movie about flying reptiles. It’s a solid flick, even if it is a bit of a cash grab. It’s not quite as magical as the first time, mostly because I’m older and my knees hurt more now, but it’s a lot better than the usual garbage they shovel into the theaters.
The Stars of the Show
- Mason Thames: The new Hiccup. He is skinny, awkward, and surprisingly likable.
- Nico Parker: She plays Astrid. She’s the girl who is better at everything than the boys, which I guess is how things work now.
- Gerard Butler: Stoick the Vast. He played the role in the cartoon and he’s back here in the flesh, still yelling at everyone.
- Nick Frost: He plays Gobber the blacksmith. He brings the laughs and actually feels like he belongs in a forge.
Special Effects and Music
The effects are top-notch, though sometimes the “real” dragons look a little too much like wet rubber. When they are flying through the clouds, it looks incredible, but when the dragon licks the kid’s face, it’s a bit much for my stomach. The music by John Powell is still the star. He used the same themes from the original, and those bagpipes still get my blood pumping. It’s proper movie music, not that thump-thump-thump stuff the kids listen to today.
Rating: 3.5 out of 5 Stars
(I gave the original a four, but since this is basically a photocopy, I’m docking half a star for lack of imagination.)
Complete Synopsis and Plot Breakdown
The movie opens on the island of Berk, where being a Viking means you spend your nights getting your roof set on fire by dragons. Hiccup is the son of the chief, Stoick, but he’s a total misfit because he’d rather invent things than swing an axe. During a dragon raid, Hiccup uses a mechanical bola launcher to shoot down a Night Fury, the “unholy offspring of lightning and death itself.”
He goes into the woods to find it, but instead of killing it, he sees the creature is injured and scared. He realizes the dragon can’t fly because he broke its tail fin. Hiccup starts visiting the dragon, naming it Toothless, and builds a prosthetic tail so they can fly together. This whole section is basically a boy and his dog story, if the dog could breathe fire and fly at 200 miles per hour.
While this is happening, Hiccup is also in Dragon Training class. Using things he learns from Toothless, like how dragons love being scratched behind the ears, he becomes the best student in class without ever hurting a dragon. This makes Astrid, the star pupil, very angry until she catches him with Toothless. They take a flight together, she realizes dragons are actually okay, and they discover a giant monster dragon called the Red Death that is forcing the smaller dragons to steal food.
At Hiccup’s final exam, things go wrong when Toothless tries to save him and gets captured by the Vikings. Stoick uses Toothless to find the dragons’ nest, thinking he’s going to win the war. Instead, they wake up the giant Red Death and almost get wiped out. Hiccup and his friends show up on dragons to save the day. In the final battle, Hiccup and Toothless defeat the giant beast, but Hiccup is badly burned and loses his lower left leg. The movie ends with the Vikings and dragons living together, which I’m sure makes the mail delivery very complicated.
5 Famous Quotes
- “Everything we know about them is wrong.”
- “I looked at him and I saw myself.”
- “I’m a Viking! I’m not allowed to be afraid of anything… except for dragons.”
- “This is Berk. It snows nine months of the year, and hails the other three.”
- “Thank you for nothing, you useless reptile!”
5 Interesting Facts
- This is a live-action remake of the 2010 animated film, which was based on the books by Cressida Cowell.
- Gerard Butler is the only main cast member to play the same role in both the animated and live-action versions.
- The production had to build a massive, life-sized version of the dragon Toothless for some scenes to make the actors’ reactions look real.
- The film was shot in various rugged locations to give it a “real” Viking feel, far away from the comfort of Hollywood.
- John Powell, the composer, used a 100-piece orchestra and a choir to recreate the iconic score for this new version.
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