God Bless America (2011) – GTA for Curmudgeons
Ben Dover Preview: If you are sick and tired of the loudmouths, the morons, and the people who think reality television is actually reality, then have I got a picture for you.…
2025
The Wrath of Becky (2003) – Stifler gone bad
Preview This weekend, if you’re tired of watching superhero movies where nobody actually bleeds, you might want to check out The Wrath of Becky. It’s a sequel to that 2020…
Falling Down (1993) – No Safe Spaces Here
Preview Alright, listen up, you knuckleheads. If you’re tired of movies where everyone is hugging it out and talking about their “feelings” while the world goes down the toilet, I…
Merlin (1998 miniseries) – I wouldn’t call it ‘magic’ and anyone who thinks differently has a hamster for a mother and their father smells of elderberries!
The epic tales of King Arthur and the mysterious, powerful wizard Merlin have been brought to the small screen countless times, but in 1998, Hallmark decided we all needed a…
Brightburn (2019): It turns out the best argument against ‘Nature vs. Nurture’ involves heat vision and a lot of gore.
Remember that wholesome story about the alien baby who crashed on Earth and grew up to be a shining beacon of hope? Well, forget it. That’s for simpletons. This is…
3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain: Behold, the final, pathetic whimper of the series
Oh, you’re a glutton for punishment, are you? Well, you asked for it. This is where the franchise doesn’t just go downhill; it drives off a cliff, bursts into flames,…
3 Ninjas Knuckle Up: Bizarro World Ninjas Take on Toxic Waste
This is where the 3 Ninjas saga enters its most bizarre phase—a chronological nightmare that only Hollywood’s corporate maneuvering could conjure. The Original Trio Takes on Toxic Waste: In a…
3 Ninjas Kick Back: They Kicked the Plot Back to the Writer’s Room, Then Burned the Room Down
From Suburbia to Samurai: The Tum-Tum Trilogy Continues with an All-Expenses-Paid Trip to Tokyo They’re back! Rocky, Colt, and the human stomach Tum-Tum return in 3 Ninjas Kick Back, a…
3 Ninjas – What if Home Alone met The Karate Kid and then immediately suffered a crippling head injury
3 Ninjas, a movie that answers the question, “What if Home Alone met The Karate Kid and then immediately suffered a crippling head injury?” Meet the three Douglas brothers—Rocky, Colt,…
The Lighthouse (2019): A Dark & Stormy Naptime
Get ready for a movie experience that’s less a film and more a two-hour-long, black-and-white therapy session for men who smell of brine and regret. The Lighthouse takes us back…