Double Dragon (1994) – 1 Broken Joystick
Ben Dover Double Dragon is a cinematic disaster that serves as a cautionary tale about the perils of video game adaptations. The film, which is based on the popular arcade beat-em-up series,…
Ben Dover
Prey (2022) – 4 Sharpened Tomahawks
Prey is a refreshing departure from the typical Predator franchise, offering a unique and culturally significant perspective. Set during the French and Indian War, the film follows Naru, a talented…
SLC Punk (1998) – 4 Safety-Pinned Mohawks
In the vibrant and rebellious world of 1980s punk rock, “SLC Punk!” stands out as a cult classic that captures the essence of youthful defiance and the search for identity.…
Aliens (1986) – 5 Acid-Drooling Space Nightmares
In this sequel, Ripley joins a group of highly trained colonial marines tasked with investigating the loss of contact with a terraforming colony that has been overrun by the aliens.…
Lucky Number Slevin (2006) – 4.5 Convoluted Coincidences
Lucky Number Slevin! Now we’re talking about a film that’s as slick as a used car salesman and as clever as my Aunt Mildred after three cups of coffee. Released…
Friday the 13th (2009) – 3 Rusty Machetes
Against the advice of locals and police, Clay (Jared Padalecki) scours the eerie woods surrounding Crystal Lake for his missing sister. But the rotting cabins of an abandoned summer camp…
A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987) – 3.5 Burnt Fedoras
A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors! It’s like a buffet of horror tropes where the main dish is a generous helping of Freddy Krueger—the guy who’s scarier than…
Singularity (2017) – 1.0 Fake Katness,
Well, short-circuit my pacemaker and call me a Luddite! Just when I thought Hollywood had run out of ways to make me fear my toaster, along comes "Singularity" to prove…
The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day (2009) – 1 Overacted Hail Mary
The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day, released in 2009, serves as a sequel to the 1999 film The Boondock Saints. The storyline picks up eight years after the events…
The Boondock Saints (1999) – 1.0 Dramatic Fingerwags
Tired of the crime overrunning the streets of Boston, Irish Catholic twin brothers Conner (Sean Patrick Flanery) and Murphy (Norman Reedus) are inspired by their faith to cleanse their hometown…