The city of Metropolis braces itself for the inevitable! The Man of Steel, Superman, has become a global icon, but his immense power has also sparked fear and controversy. Meanwhile, in the gothic shadows of Gotham, a grizzled, older Batman has been operating as a vigilante for twenty years, his methods increasingly brutal. The stage is set for a clash of titans, as these two celebrated heroes find themselves on a collision course, manipulated by forces unseen.
Prepare for a cinematic event that promises to redefine the superhero genre, as the long-awaited confrontation between two of the most iconic figures in comic book history finally unfolds. Will their differences tear them apart, or can they find common ground in a world increasingly threatened by unknown dangers? Get ready for Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, where the lines between hero and villain are blurred and the fate of humanity hangs in the balance.
Review by Ben Dover
Alright, so I watched this “Batman v Superman” thing the other day. Honestly, I’m not sure what these kids are watching these days. Too much brooding, too much CGI, and not enough clear answers. I mean, they spend two and a half hours, or whatever it was, setting up a fight between two fellas in capes, and half the time I’m thinking, “Why don’t they just talk it out over a cup of coffee?” This whole “dark and gritty” thing, it’s just an excuse for not telling a decent story, if you ask me.
First off, Ben Affleck as Batman. Look, the guy’s been around. He was decent in Good Will Hunting, but Batman? He’s supposed to be a ninja detective, not a guy who looks like he just finished a bad day at the stock market. And this Batman, he’s just angry. Constantly scowling, breaking bones, and generally being a menace. What happened to the hero who actually tried to not kill people? Apparently, the youth today like their heroes to be barely distinguishable from the villains. Who knew?
Then there’s Superman, played by that Henry Cavill fellow. He’s fine, I guess. He flies, he punches things, he looks perpetually confused. But the movie keeps trying to make him out to be some kind of messianic figure, which is just hogwash. He’s an alien with superpowers. That’s it. And Lois Lane, bless her heart, is constantly getting herself into trouble so Superman can swoop in and save her. It’s the same old song and dance, and frankly, I’m tired of it. Can’t she carry a taser or something?
The biggest headache of the whole thing was Jesse Eisenberg’s Lex Luthor. Good grief. He’s supposed to be a ruthless, calculating genius, right? This guy acts like he’s had too much sugar and forgotten his medication. He twitches, he giggles, he delivers lines like he’s trying to win an improv competition. It’s distracting, it’s annoying, and it makes no sense. The whole plot hinges on this guy’s elaborate, convoluted plan, and he acts like he’s five years old playing with action figures. It’s an insult to anyone with half a brain.
And then Wonder Woman shows up. Gal Gadot. She’s easily the best part of the whole miserable affair, for the few minutes she’s actually on screen. She kicks butt, she looks great doing it, and she’s got a sword and shield, which is more practical than a Batarang, if you ask me. Her entrance was the only time I actually felt something besides boredom or annoyance. But then they shove her back into the background to make room for more meaningless punching. What a waste.
Starring
- Ben Affleck as Bruce Wayne / Batman: A grizzled, world-weary Caped Crusader who has been fighting crime in Gotham for two decades. He’s got a chip on his shoulder the size of a small car.
- Henry Cavill as Clark Kent / Superman: The Man of Steel, still grappling with humanity’s distrust and his place in the world. He just wants to do good, but everyone’s making it difficult.
- Amy Adams as Lois Lane: A feisty reporter for the Daily Planet and Superman’s love interest. She’s constantly in peril, apparently to give Superman something to do when he’s not fighting Batman.
- Jesse Eisenberg as Lex Luthor: A young, eccentric, and utterly unhinged tech billionaire with a pathological hatred for Superman. He’s a menace to society, and a bigger menace to the audience.
- Diane Lane as Martha Kent: Superman’s adoptive mother. Her name, as you’ll see, is inexplicably important.
- Laurence Fishburne as Perry White: The hard-nosed editor-in-chief of the Daily Planet. He’s just trying to run a newspaper, for crying out loud.
- Jeremy Irons as Alfred Pennyworth: Bruce Wayne’s loyal butler and tech support. He’s got all the good one-liners.
- Holly Hunter as Senator June Finch: A senator who’s trying to hold Superman accountable. She’s got more sense than most of the other characters.
- Gal Gadot as Diana Prince / Wonder Woman: An ancient Amazonian warrior and antiquities dealer. She’s the only one who seems to know what’s going on, and she finally gets to kick some serious butt.
Special Effects
The special effects, you ask? Well, they’re everywhere. You can’t swing a dead cat without hitting some CGI explosion or flying debris. Buildings collapse, cities get leveled, and these two super-powered fellas punch each other through walls like it’s a Tuesday. It’s all very big and loud, and sometimes it’s hard to tell what’s going on amidst all the gray dust and muted colors. They spent a quarter of a billion dollars on this thing, and it looks like a video game cutscene half the time. Doomsday, the big monster at the end, looked like a mutated pile of chewed bubble gum. Honestly, the most impressive special effect was how they managed to make me care so little about anything that was happening.
Music
Hans Zimmer and Junkie XL did the music. It’s mostly a lot of loud, booming, generic superhero stuff. You know, the kind of music that tries to tell you something epic is happening even when it’s not. There are a few moments that stick out, like Wonder Woman’s theme, which is actually pretty good and makes you want to get up and punch something yourself. But for the most part, it’s just background noise, adding to the general sense of oppressive gloom. It’s like they wanted the music to be as depressing as the rest of the movie.
Rating
★☆☆☆☆ (1 out of 5 stars)
One star for Wonder Woman. The rest is just a muddled mess.
Synopsis and Plot Breakdown
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice picks up 18 months after the events of Man of Steel, with Superman (Henry Cavill) now a controversial figure. Bruce Wayne (Ben Affleck), who witnessed the destruction of Metropolis firsthand during Superman’s fight with General Zod, sees the Kryptonian as an existential threat to humanity. Operating as Batman in Gotham, he’s become increasingly brutal and jaded.
Meanwhile, a young, eccentric, and clearly deranged billionaire, Lex Luthor (Jesse Eisenberg), is obsessed with destroying Superman. He attempts to gain access to kryptonite, discovered in the aftermath of Zod’s terraforming attempt, to create a deterrent against alien threats. When Senator June Finch (Holly Hunter) denies him, Luthor resorts to underhanded tactics, manipulating events to turn public opinion against Superman and obtain Zod’s corpse and the Kryptonian scout ship.
Bruce Wayne, convinced Superman needs to be stopped, works to acquire the kryptonite himself. He crosses paths with Diana Prince (Gal Gadot), an antiquities dealer who is secretly Wonder Woman, both of them trying to get their hands on Luthor’s encrypted data. Bruce has vivid nightmares and visions, including a bleak future where Superman rules a dystopian world, further solidifying his resolve to take down the Man of Steel.
Luthor orchestrates a congressional hearing to question Superman’s actions, but a bomb he smuggled in detonates, killing everyone present except Superman. Superman, blaming himself, goes into self-imposed exile. Batman, using this as an opportunity, breaks into LexCorp and steals the kryptonite, building a powerful armored suit and a kryptonite-tipped spear.
Luthor then kidnaps Martha Kent (Diane Lane), Superman’s adoptive mother, and Lois Lane (Amy Adams), forcing Superman to confront Batman and kill him in exchange for Martha’s life. Superman tries to explain Luthor’s manipulation to Batman, but Batman, fueled by his rage and paranoia, engages in a brutal fight, using kryptonite gas to weaken Superman. As Batman prepares to deliver the final blow with the spear, Superman weakly pleads with him to “save Martha.” This unexpected plea, combined with Lois Lane’s timely arrival and explanation, makes Batman realize that both his mother and Superman’s adoptive mother share the same name, and that Superman is not the monster he believed him to be.
With the misunderstanding cleared, Batman and Superman team up to confront Luthor. However, Luthor has used the Kryptonian ship and Zod’s DNA to create Doomsday, a monstrous creature. Wonder Woman arrives just in time to join the battle, forming the “Trinity.” The three heroes struggle against Doomsday, who proves to be incredibly powerful. In a sacrificial act, Superman uses the kryptonite spear to kill Doomsday, but is himself fatally wounded in the process.
Superman is mourned by the world, and Luthor is arrested. Batman confronts Luthor in prison, who gloats about the world being vulnerable now. Bruce tells Diana that he regrets failing Superman and suggests they form a team of metahumans to protect Earth in Superman’s absence. The film ends with dirt levitating on Clark Kent’s coffin, hinting at Superman’s eventual return.
Famous Quotes
- “Tell me. Do you bleed? You will.” – Batman (to Superman)
- “The red capes are coming! The red capes are coming!” – Lex Luthor
- “I’ve figured it out way back, if God is all-powerful, He cannot be all-good. And if He is all-good, then He cannot be all-powerful. And neither can you1 be.” – Lex Luthor
- “That’s how it starts. The fever. The rage. The feeling of helplessness that turns good men cruel.” – Alfred Pennyworth
- “A beautiful lie.” – Bruce Wayne
Notes From The Movie
- The film draws heavily from the graphic novel The Dark Knight Returns by Frank Miller, particularly the concept of an older, jaded Batman and his confrontation with Superman.
- Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice marks the first live-action cinematic appearance of Wonder Woman.
- The infamous “Martha” scene, where Batman pauses his fight with Superman because their mothers share the same name, was a point of significant criticism and parody.
- Jena Malone was cast in the film, but her role as Jenet Klyburn was cut from the theatrical release and only appeared in the Ultimate Edition.
- The film introduces subtle hints and cameos for other Justice League members, including The Flash, Aquaman, and Cyborg, setting up future DC Extended Universe films.