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Movie Reviews from Ben Dover. The Cranky Critic

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Movie Reviews from Ben Dover. The Cranky Critic

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Drama Thriller

The Lighthouse (2019): A Dark & Stormy Naptime

Ben Dover November 1, 2025 No Comments

Get ready for a movie experience that’s less a film and more a two-hour-long, black-and-white therapy session for men who smell of brine and regret. The Lighthouse takes us back…

Comedy Horror

Idle Hands (1999) – Will the youth of today finally get off the couch to defeat a demonic force, or will they just smoke more oregano?

Ben Dover October 25, 2025 No Comments

Teen Slackers Learn a Lesson in Homicidal Hilarity in Idle Hands This weekend, prepare for a cinematic experience that proves the old adage: the Devil really does make work for…

Comedy Family Kids Sports

The Mighty Ducks (1992)

Ben Dover October 14, 2025 No Comments

An Ice-Cold Reminder of the ’90s, Where Convicted Drunk Drivers Get to Mold Our Youth… or… How a Quack Echoed Across the Ice? In the age of endless remakes and…

Drama Horror Sci-Fi

The Butterfly Effect 3: The third time is absolutely not the charm

Ben Dover October 9, 2025 No Comments

Another Day, Another Dimension This week, we’re dragged back into the mind-bending, rule-breaking world of time travel with The Butterfly Effect 3: Revelations. No, it’s not a good sign when…

Drama Sci-Fi

The Butterfly Effect 2: Some Sequels do NOT need to be made

Ben Dover October 9, 2025 No Comments

Oh, for crying out loud. Another direct-to-video sequel. Do these Hollywood muckety-mucks think we were born yesterday? They take a moderately clever, mildly successful flick from a couple of years…

Drama Sci-Fi

The Butterfly Effect (2004)

Ben Dover October 8, 2025 No Comments

You’d think Hollywood would run out of ways to mess with time, but here we are again with The Butterfly Effect, a so-called “science fiction thriller” starring Ashton Kutcher. Yes,…

Comedy Horror

Death of a Unicorn – NOT your daughter’s Unicorn’s

Ben Dover October 4, 2025 No Comments

This week, Hollywood serves up another “eat-the-rich” horror-comedy—because we haven’t seen enough of those lately—with Death of a Unicorn. It’s a tale as old as time: a working stiff trying…

Fantasy

The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003)

Ben Dover September 24, 2025 No Comments

The Return of the King: More Walking, More Crying, More of Everything Just when you thought it was safe to go home, as if the first one wasn’t long enough,…

Adventure Comedy Crime

The Big Bounce (2004) – Even Oscar winners need vacation money

Ben Dover September 20, 2025 No Comments

If you’re looking for a film with a plot so simple a cocker spaniel could follow it, then move along, because The Big Bounce is here to make you feel…

Action Adventure Superhero

Thunderbolts* – Marvel’s “B” Squad with Daddy Issues

Ben Dover September 6, 2025 No Comments

In the latest installment from the cinematic juggernaut that is the Marvel machine, prepare to witness a government agency’s pathetic attempt to put a superhero team together from the cinematic…

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  • Gangs of New York (2002) – Three hours of screaming, mud, and bad accents
  • Grosse Pointe Blank (1997) – No Meetings!
  • Identity (2003) – Ten strangers enter, one giant migraine leaves
  • John Carter (2012) The greatest movie ever made about a guy named John who hops really, really high.
  • Normal (2026) – Put down your phone, grab a cold beer, and watch the Fonz blow things up

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You Missed

Crime Drama

Gangs of New York (2002) – Three hours of screaming, mud, and bad accents

Action Comedy Crime

Grosse Pointe Blank (1997) – No Meetings!

Thriller

Identity (2003) – Ten strangers enter, one giant migraine leaves

Action Adventure Sci-Fi

John Carter (2012) The greatest movie ever made about a guy named John who hops really, really high.

The images on this site came from Picsart and ImgCreator as well as Fotor, Microsoft CoPilot helped me come up with the logos and layouts.

The writing is a gobbledygook compilation of my brain, ChatGTP, Google Gemini, and Microsoft's CoPilot.

Check out our podcast FriedRicePodcast that actually got this whole project started where we smoke some stuff and review some movies to get a lot less cranky reviews from my friends.

Ben Dover Flix

Movie Reviews from Ben Dover. The Cranky Critic

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