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Movie Reviews from Ben Dover. The Cranky Critic

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Movie Reviews from Ben Dover. The Cranky Critic

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Action Crime Horror Thriller

Red State (2011): Kevin Smith’s Heavy-Handed Descent into Torture Porn and Politics

Ben Dover June 8, 2024 No Comments

Red State is a 2011 horror thriller film written, directed, and edited by Kevin Smith. The film follows a group of three teenage boys who respond to an online ad…

Action Adventure Fantasy Horror

Spawn (1997) – A Grotesque Comic Book Adaptation.

Ben Dover May 25, 2024 No Comments

Spawn follows Al Simmons, an elite US Marine who is murdered by his evil boss Jason Wynn. Simmons then makes a deal with the devil to return to Earth as…

Drama Fantasy Mystery Sci-Fi

The Nines (2007)- Ryan Reynolds’ Interminable Descent Into Avant-Garde Whimsy

Ben Dover May 20, 2024 No Comments

The Nines tells three short stories, the first of about an actor who is under house arrest after flipping over his car, the second is about a writer who’s pilot…

Drama Sci-Fi Thriller

The Final Cut (2004): Robin Williams’ Baffling Descent into Dystopian Tedium

Ben Dover May 11, 2024 No Comments

The Final Cut is a 2004 science fiction psychological thriller film directed by Omar Naim and starring Robin Williams, Jim Caviezel, and Mira Sorvino. The film is set in a…

Action Adventure Sci-Fi

Battlefield Earth (2000): An Unprecedented Amalgamation of Cinematic Feces

Ben Dover May 11, 2024 No Comments

Battlefield Earth is a 2000 American science fiction film directed by Roger Christian, based on the 1982 novel of the same name by Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard. The film…

Comedy

Smiley Face (2007) – Anna Faris’ Descent into Cinematic Ignominy

Ben Dover April 17, 2024 No Comments

Smiley Face follows the story of a young actress (Anna Faris) who, after mistakenly consuming marijuana-laced cupcakes, embarks on a series of comedic misadventures throughout Los Angeles . The film…

Comedy Drama Mystery Sci-Fi

Southland Tales (2006) – Richard Kelly’s Magnum Opus of Unintelligible Madness

Ben Dover April 17, 2024 No Comments

Southland Tales is a dystopian black comedy thriller film written and directed by Richard Kelly. The film is set in the then-near future of 2008, and is a portrait of…

Comedy Sci-Fi

Mars Attacks! (1996) Tim Burton’s Schlocky, Campy Assault on Good Taste

Ben Dover April 17, 2024 No Comments

Mars Attacks! is a 1996 black comedy science fiction film directed by Tim Burton, featuring a massive cast of A-list celebrities including Jack Nicholson as the President of the United…

Action Adventure Fantasy

Warriors of Virtue (1997) – A Nauseatingly Misguided Attempt at Fantasy Grandeur

Ben Dover April 11, 2024 No Comments

A young boy is whisked away to the mythical land of Tao where he becomes the center of a conflict between an evil lord and a group of animal warriors.…

Action Adventure Comedy

Crank (2006): A High-Octane Masterclass in Ridiculous Cinema

Ben Dover March 25, 2024 No Comments

“Crank” is a 2006 American action film starring Jason Statham as professional assassin Chev Chelios. In the movie, Chelios discovers that his rival injected him with a deadly poison that…

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Recent Posts

  • Magnolia (1999): If you like frogs and emotional trauma, this is your Citizen Kane.
  • The Running Man (2025): A movie so fast-paced, you’ll forget there’s no plot!
  • Spider-Man 3 (2007) – It’s like a soap opera but with more falling buildings!
  • How to Train Your Dragon (2025) – It’s the same lizard you loved before, just with more expensive scales!
  • How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World (2019) – Even dragons can have a mid-life crisis.

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You Missed

Drama

Magnolia (1999): If you like frogs and emotional trauma, this is your Citizen Kane.

Action Adventure Sci-Fi

The Running Man (2025): A movie so fast-paced, you’ll forget there’s no plot!

Action Adventure Superhero

Spider-Man 3 (2007) – It’s like a soap opera but with more falling buildings!

Family Kids

How to Train Your Dragon (2025) – It’s the same lizard you loved before, just with more expensive scales!

The images on this site came from Picsart and ImgCreator as well as Fotor, Microsoft CoPilot helped me come up with the logos and layouts.

The writing is a gobbledygook compilation of my brain, ChatGTP, Google Gemini, and Microsoft's CoPilot.

Check out our podcast FriedRicePodcast that actually got this whole project started where we smoke some stuff and review some movies to get a lot less cranky reviews from my friends.

Ben Dover Flix

Movie Reviews from Ben Dover. The Cranky Critic

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