Get ready to plant your backside on the couch because Hollywood is once again digging through the trash bins of the 1980s. This time they have decided to remake The Running Man for a generation that can’t even run to the mailbox without checking their GPS. Instead of Arnold and his one liners, we get Glen Powell trying to look like a desperate man while his hair remains perfectly sculpted by the gods of vanity. It is the year 2025 and apparently the future looks a lot like a high budget TikTok challenge where the prize is not getting your head blown off.
The story follows Ben Richards, a guy who is just trying to save his kid but ends up being the star of a game show where guys in spandex chase him through a ruined city. It is meant to be a dark satire about how much we love watching people suffer for entertainment, which is ironic because I had to suffer through two hours of this just to write this column. If you like watching people sprint through obstacle courses while being hunted by theatrical weirdos, this might be your cup of tea. Otherwise, it is just another reason to wonder why we can’t just have an original thought in this decade.
Review by Ben Dover
I remember the 1987 version where Arnold Schwarzenegger wore a yellow jumpsuit that looked like he stole it from a giant banana. It was loud, it was stupid, and it was glorious. Now comes director Edgar Wright with this new version that claims to be “closer to the book.” Well, news flash buddy, I dont care about the book. I care about being entertained. Powell is fine as Richards, I guess, but he spends half the movie looking like he is thinking about his next protein shake instead of being terrified that a guy named Subzero is going to turn him into a human popsicle.
The “youths” today probably think this is deep social commentary. Oh, look at us, we watch reality TV and that makes us the real monsters. Give me a break. I have seen more realistic drama at the DMV on a Tuesday morning. The movie tries so hard to be “gritty” and “intense” that it forgets to actually be fun. Every time a character opened their mouth to talk about the “corrupt system,” I found myself rooting for the hunters. At least the hunters have a clear job description: find the guy, kill the guy, go home for a beer.
The pacing is faster than a teenager trying to hide their browser history when their mom walks in. It moves so quick that you barely have time to realize the plot has more holes than my favorite pair of lawn mowing socks. Richards runs here, Richards runs there, and somehow he survives things that would kill a normal 60 year old man like me in five seconds. I tripped over a curb last week and nearly met my maker, but this guy takes a pipe to the ribs and just keeps jogging. It is absolute nonsense.
Don’t even get me started on the ending. It is one of those “power to the people” moments that makes you want to roll your eyes so far back you can see your own brain. The crowd in the movie goes from wanting to see him dead to acting like he is the messiah in about three minutes. People are fickle, I get it, but this was faster than a politician changing his mind during an election year. I stayed until the credits just to make sure it was actually over.
The Cast
- Glen Powell (Ben Richards): He is the “it” guy right now, which mostly means he has good teeth and can look worried while running. He is supposed to be a desperate father, but he looks like he belongs on a yacht.
- Katy O’Brian: She plays one of the hunters and she looks like she could actually bench press a small car. I wouldn’t mess with her.
- Lee Pace: He plays the villainous producer of the show. He is tall, creepy, and acts like he is in a much better movie than this one.
- Josh Brolin: He shows up because he is legally required to be in every movie involving grit and gravelly voices.
Special Effects and Music
The effects are all “CGI” this and “digital” that. In my day, if you wanted to see a car explode, you actually blew up a car. Here, everything looks a bit too clean, even the dirt looks like it was painted on by a computer. There are some neat gadgets, but nothing that made me drop my popcorn. As for the music, it is just a bunch of loud thumping sounds. They call it a “score,” but I call it a headache. It sounds like a dishwasher full of wrenches is being thrown down a flight of stairs.
Rating: 2.5 Stars
It isn’t the worst thing I have seen this year, mostly because I accidentally watched a five minute video of a kid unboxing toys once, but it is far from a classic. It is just… okay. And “okay” is a boring way to spend a Saturday night.
Synopsis and Plot Breakdown
The movie kicks off in a depressing future where the economy has tanked and everyone is obsessed with a show called The Running Man. Ben Richards is an impoverished guy whose daughter is sick. To get the money for her medicine, he signs up for the deadliest game on earth. He is essentially a “Runner” who has to evade “Stalkers” in a massive, cordoned-off section of the city.
Richards spends the first act being poked and prodded by the network executives who want to turn his misery into ratings. Once the game starts, it is a literal race for his life. He meets up with some underground rebels who want to hijack the broadcast to show the “truth” to the masses. There are several set pieces where Richards narrowly escapes being burned, stabbed, or run over. Eventually, Richards stops running and starts fighting back, leading to a showdown at the broadcast center where he proves that the game is rigged and the government is lying. He kills the bad guys, saves the day, and everyone cheers while the credits roll.
Famous Quotes
- “I’m not here to win. I’m here to survive.”
- “The ratings are up. That’s all that matters.”
- “Run fast, Richards. The world is watching.”
- “Is this entertainment or a public execution?”
- “I’ll give them a show they’ll never forget.”
Interesting Facts
- This version is reportedly much more faithful to the original Stephen King novel (written under the name Richard Bachman) than the Arnold movie was.
- Director Edgar Wright has been wanting to make this movie for decades.
- Glen Powell reportedly did many of his own stunts, which explains why he looks so damn tired.
- The movie was filmed on location in London to give it that “crumbling empire” vibe.
- The original author, Stephen King, was allegedly not a fan of the 1987 movie, so hopefully he hates this one even more.
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