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Movie Reviews from Ben Dover. The Cranky Critic

Ben Dover Flix

Movie Reviews from Ben Dover. The Cranky Critic

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Action Adventure Drama Sci-Fi

Greenland 2: Migration (2026) – Out of the Frying Pan, Into the Radioactive Freezer

Ben Dover January 15, 2026 No Comments

Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the bunker, Greenland: Migration arrives to remind us that life after the apocalypse is basically just one long, miserable…

Action Adventure Drama Sci-Fi Thriller

Greenland (2020) – A Giant Space Rock and a Lot of Running

Ben Dover January 15, 2026 No Comments

In an era where the world seems to be ending every other Tuesday, director Ric Roman Waugh brings us Greenland, a disaster thriller that trades the usual laser-beams-and-superheroes nonsense for…

Crime Drama

The Godfather (1972)

Ben Dover January 8, 2026 No Comments

Lock your doors and hide your cannoli, because Francis Ford Coppola is bringing a bunch of mumbly Italians to the big screen this weekend. If you’ve ever wanted to spend…

Comedy Drama

Charlie Bartlett (2007) – What if Tony Soprano was a scrawny teenager who really cared about your feelings.

Ben Dover January 1, 2026 No Comments

In a world where every teenager seems to have a customized therapist and a medicine cabinet that looks like a CVS pharmacy, comes Charlie Bartlett. It’s another one of those…

Comedy Crime Thriller

God Bless America (2011) – GTA for Curmudgeons

Ben Dover December 13, 2025 No Comments

Preview: If you are sick and tired of the loudmouths, the morons, and the people who think reality television is actually reality, then have I got a picture for you.…

Action Thriller

The Wrath of Becky (2003) – Stifler gone bad

Ben Dover December 12, 2025 No Comments

Preview This weekend, if you’re tired of watching superhero movies where nobody actually bleeds, you might want to check out The Wrath of Becky. It’s a sequel to that 2020…

Crime Drama Thriller

Falling Down (1993) – No Safe Spaces Here

Ben Dover December 5, 2025 No Comments

Preview Alright, listen up, you knuckleheads. If you’re tired of movies where everyone is hugging it out and talking about their “feelings” while the world goes down the toilet, I…

Adventure Fantasy

Merlin (1998 miniseries) – I wouldn’t call it ‘magic’ and anyone who thinks differently has a hamster for a mother and their father smells of elderberries!

Ben Dover November 20, 2025 No Comments

The epic tales of King Arthur and the mysterious, powerful wizard Merlin have been brought to the small screen countless times, but in 1998, Hallmark decided we all needed a…

Horror Superhero Thriller

Brightburn (2019): It turns out the best argument against ‘Nature vs. Nurture’ involves heat vision and a lot of gore.

Ben Dover November 15, 2025 No Comments

Remember that wholesome story about the alien baby who crashed on Earth and grew up to be a shining beacon of hope? Well, forget it. That’s for simpletons. This is…

Action Adventure Comedy Kids

3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain: Behold, the final, pathetic whimper of the series

Ben Dover November 8, 2025 No Comments

Oh, you’re a glutton for punishment, are you? Well, you asked for it. This is where the franchise doesn’t just go downhill; it drives off a cliff, bursts into flames,…

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Recent Posts

  • Hitman: Agent 47 (2015) – Trash, but its top-tier trash that kept this cranky old man awake on a Tuesday night.
  • Heat (1995) – Watch two senior citizens with automatic weapons show the kids how real crime movies are made
  • 72 Hours (2026) – 72 Hours feels like 72 days in a room full of screaming toddlers.
  • Little Brother (2026) – Grab a beer, turn off your brain, and watch two grown men destroy a Porsche on Netflix!
  • Simon Birch (1998) A movie so sappy it ought to come with a pancake breakfast.

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You Missed

Action Crime Thriller

Hitman: Agent 47 (2015) – Trash, but its top-tier trash that kept this cranky old man awake on a Tuesday night.

Uncategorized

Heat (1995) – Watch two senior citizens with automatic weapons show the kids how real crime movies are made

Adventure Comedy

72 Hours (2026) – 72 Hours feels like 72 days in a room full of screaming toddlers.

Comedy

Little Brother (2026) – Grab a beer, turn off your brain, and watch two grown men destroy a Porsche on Netflix!

The images on this site came from Picsart and ImgCreator as well as Fotor, Microsoft CoPilot helped me come up with the logos and layouts.

The writing is a gobbledygook compilation of my brain, ChatGTP, Google Gemini, and Microsoft's CoPilot.

Check out our podcast FriedRicePodcast that actually got this whole project started where we smoke some stuff and review some movies to get a lot less cranky reviews from my friends.

Ben Dover Flix

Movie Reviews from Ben Dover. The Cranky Critic

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