COWBOYS, CLOCKS, AND CALCULATED CASH-GRABS
Well, they finally did it. They sent the kid with the puffy vest to the one place I actually wouldn’t mind visiting if it weren’t for the lack of indoor plumbing and the presence of Michael J. Fox. Back to the Future Part III takes us to 1885, a time when men were men, horses were the only horsepower, and you didn’t have to worry about teenagers on hoverboards. I went into this hoping for a dignified Western, but what I got was Doc Brown falling in love with a schoolteacher and Marty McFly calling himself “Clint Eastwood.” It’s an insult to the Man with No Name, frankly.
This film was shot right on the heels of the second one, and you can tell. The actors look like they’ve been through the ringer, and the plot is about as thin as a saloon steak. We’re back in the Old West because the DeLorean got zapped by lightning… again, and Doc is stuck playing blacksmith in the dusty past. If I wanted to see a man obsess over a steam engine for two hours, I’d go visit my brother-in-law in his workshop. But no, I had to sit in a dark theater with a bunch of kids who think a “colt” is just a young horse and not a piece of legendary hardware.
Review by Ben Dover
Let’s get down to brass tacks. This movie is basically a “save the damsel” story, except the damsel is a 60-year-old scientist with wild hair and a penchant for yelling “Great Scott!” at every passing tumbleweed. Marty goes back to 1885 to prevent Doc from getting shot in the back over a matter of eighty dollars. Eighty dollars! Back then, that was a fortune, but today that won’t even buy you a bucket of popcorn and a soda at the multiplex. The stakes feel a bit low, don’t they?
Then there’s the romance. Doc Brown meets Clara Clayton, a woman who likes Jules Verne and looking longingly into his crazy eyes. Watching Christopher Lloyd try to be a romantic lead is like watching a blender try to write poetry, it’s loud, messy, and you’re pretty sure something is going to break. It slows the movie down to a crawl. I came for time-traveling shenanigans, not a senior citizen’s square dance.
The villain this time is “Mad Dog” Tannen, Biff’s great-grandfather. Thomas F. Wilson plays him as a drooling, flea-bitten lunatic. It’s the same schtick we’ve seen twice already, just with more dirt on his face and a louder gun. Marty, meanwhile, spends the whole movie trying not to be called “yellow.” Apparently, in the future, being called a chicken is the worst thing that can happen to you. In my day, the worst thing was the Great Depression, but what do I know? I’m just a “cranky” critic.
The big finale involves a runaway train pushing the DeLorean up to 88 miles per hour. I’ll admit, it’s a decent sequence. It’s got tension, fire, and a total disregard for the laws of physics. But the very end? Doc shows up in a flying steam train with his new wife and two kids named… Jules and Verne. It’s the kind of sap that belongs on a greeting card, not in a sci-fi trilogy. They finally destroyed the DeLorean, which is the only thing in this franchise I actually respected. Of course, they immediately had to ruin that by Doc building a different time machine negating everything he has said for almost 6 hours of movie now.
It’s a harmless enough movie, I suppose. It actually has a linear story you can follow without needing a whiteboard and a degree in quantum mechanics. It’s a Western for people who don’t actually like Westerns. It’s fine. Just don’t expect me to cheer when the train flies off into the sunset.
Cast and Crew
- Michael J. Fox (Marty McFly / Seamus McFly): He swaps the denim for fringe and spends a lot of time hiding under a poncho. He’s fine, but he still looks like he’s waiting for his mom to pick him up from practice.
- Christopher Lloyd (Doc Brown): For once, he’s the center of the story. He does “eccentric in love” well enough, I guess. At least he didn’t faint as much in this one.
- Mary Steenburgen (Clara Clayton): She’s a lovely actress, but why she’d fall for a man who talks to his dog more than people is beyond me.
- Thomas F. Wilson (Buford “Mad Dog” Tannen): He’s meaner and dirtier than Biff. He spends half the movie covered in manure, which is a fitting place for him.
- Lea Thompson (Maggie McFly): She plays Marty’s great-great-grandmother with a thick Irish accent that’s about as authentic as a three-dollar bill.
Special Effects and Music
The Special Effects are mostly practical here, which I prefer. The train scenes are impressive, and the explosion at the end is satisfying. I’m tired of seeing Marty’s hand disappear; I want to see things blow up, and this movie delivers on that front.
The Music is the same Alan Silvestri score but with a “yee-haw” twist. Lots of fiddles and banjos mixed in with the trumpets. It’s fine if you like that sort of thing. Personally, it made me want to go buy a pair of boots I’d never wear.
Rating
3 out of 5 Stars (A decent ending to a trilogy that should have stayed a single movie.) Could have been a 4* if only the ending didn’t negate the entire premise of the trilogy.
Synopsis and Plot Breakdown
Marty is trapped in 1955 after the events of the second movie. He finds the 1955 Doc Brown, and they dig up the DeLorean that 1985 Doc hid in a silver mine in 1885. While retrieving the car, Marty finds a tombstone revealing that Doc was killed just days after writing the letter Marty received. Marty ignores Doc’s orders to go straight back to 1985 and instead heads to 1885 to save his friend.
Marty arrives in the Old West, rips his fuel line, and gets chased by Indians before being rescued by his own ancestors, the McFlys. He finds Doc, who has become a local hero for his blacksmithing and ice-making. Doc is ready to leave until he saves Clara Clayton from falling into a ravine. It’s love at first sight, and suddenly Doc isn’t so sure about leaving the 19th century.
Because they have no gasoline, they decide to use a steam locomotive to push the DeLorean to 88 mph on a straight track leading to an unfinished bridge. Before they can leave, Marty is challenged to a duel by Mad Dog Tannen. Marty uses a metal stove lid as a bulletproof vest—stealing the idea from a Clint Eastwood movie—and knocks Tannen into a wagon of manure.
In the climax, Doc and Marty hijack a train. Clara hops on at the last second, and Doc has to rescue her from the speeding engine. Marty makes it back to 1985 alone, where the DeLorean is immediately crushed by a modern freight train. Just as Marty is mourning the loss of the time machine, Doc reappears in a brand-new Time Train, introduces his family, and flies off into the unknown.
Famous Quotes
- “I’ve already lived in the future… and it’s lived in me!”
- “You’re not thinking fourth-dimensionally!”
- “He’s a pest, Marshall! And a bit of a nuisance!”
- “Hey, McFly! I thought I told you never to come in here!”
- “Your future is whatever you make it, so make it a good one.”
Interesting Facts
- Michael J. Fox was actually hanged for a few seconds during the scene where Tannen lynches him. The stunt went wrong, and he passed out for real. Typical Hollywood—nearly killing the talent for a laugh.
- The locomotive used in the film, Sierra No. 3, has appeared in more movies and TV shows than most A-list actors.
- The film was shot in Monument Valley, the same place John Ford shot all those classic Westerns. It’s a shame they wasted the scenery on a car that runs on trash.
- Thomas F. Wilson (Biff/Mad Dog) did all his own stunt riding and lasso work. At least one person on set had some real skills.
- The ZZ Top members appear as the town band. I didn’t recognize them without the synthesizers, but the beards are a dead giveaway.
Photos
Trailer
Notes
Again like part two it is a true continuation this is a fun way to sequel
I saw these when they came out, my first time watching all three back to back (3 days) cool way to see them. Works really well as a true long movie
Baby sleeping Einstein is so cute ( I know its Copernicus but still)
Love the whitewalls on the Delorean
Martys outfit is hilarious
Did we still say Indians in 1990? Well, Marty does at least
Kind of funny and just ignored how Hill Valley is now the desert however those are some great shots (see Delorean in cave etc.)
The Band at the festival is ZZ Top instantly recognizable for those of us who grew up with them, they didn’t even need makeup 🙂
Where’d you learn to shoot like that…. 7-11 LOL
Nice touch on Doc’s kiss with the shooting star.
Did we really need to see that much of Marty’s butt.
The only issue I have with the whole trilogy is the ending, sure, its feel good, but it negates Doc’s entire storyline of destroying this infernal time machine, he just built another one LOL
My ending would have been when Marty and Jennifer see the destroyed DeLorean, sunset comes and they match the Doc kiss along with the shooting star, that would bring it full circle and not make Doc’s entire storyline into rubbish.