Director Gore Verbinski, the man who gave us those pirate movies and that creepy girl in the well, is back with a sci-fi headache titled Good Luck, Have Fun, Don’t Die. Set in a grimy Los Angeles diner, the film throws a manic time traveler into a room full of ordinary people and tells them the world is ending because someone couldn’t stop scrolling on their phone. It’s a high-concept gamble that tries to mix dark satire with an action-packed race against time, all while wagging a finger at our digital obsessions.

The story centers on a ragtag group of diner patrons who are forced into a six-block trek to stop a nine-year-old from accidentally birthing a digital god. With a cast led by the always-erratic Sam Rockwell, the film promises a sensory overload of “quirkcore” energy and practical effects. Whether audiences are ready for a lecture on AI wrapped in a Michael Bay-style explosion remains to be seen, but one thing is certain: it’s the loudest thing in theaters this February.

Review by Ben Dover

I went into the theater to see Good Luck, Have Fun, Don’t Die and left feeling like I’d just been mugged by a group of theater students in a RadioShack. Sam Rockwell shows up looking like he crawled out of a dumpster behind a Best Buy, wearing a “time-travel suit” that looks like it’s made of vacuum cleaner hoses and Christmas lights. He starts screaming at everyone in a diner about the “singularity” and “AI slop,” and honestly, he sounds exactly like my nephew at Thanksgiving after two craft beers.

The whole premise is that we’re all doomed because we’re too busy looking at our phones to notice the world is ending. Groundbreaking stuff, Gore. Really original. I’ve been telling people for ten years that their iPhones are turning their brains into oatmeal, but nobody gave me twenty million dollars to say it. The movie spends half its time lecturing you and the other half throwing giant, man-eating cat creatures and guys in knitted pig masks at the screen. It’s like the director couldn’t decide if he wanted to be Stanley Kubrick or a guy making YouTube pranks.

The cast is actually too good for this nonsense. You’ve got Michael Peña and Zazie Beetz playing teachers who have to fight off a horde of TikTok-addicted teenagers. I’ve met teenagers today; you don’t need a sci-fi virus to make them look like zombies—just turn off the Wi-Fi. Then there’s Juno Temple as a grieving mother with a “cloned” son who tries to sell her detergent every hour. It’s dark, it’s depressing, and it made me want to go home and throw my television into the street.

Even the things I liked annoyed me. The movie is clearly anti-AI, which I appreciate because I don’t want a toaster telling me how to live my life. But the way it delivers the message is so “on the nose” it practically breaks your bridge. It’s got that “quirky” vibe where characters say things like “survive the calorie burn of a temporal rift.” Who talks like that? Not people I want to know. It’s trying so hard to be Everything Everywhere All At Once, but it ends up being Everything Loud All At Once.

In the end, it’s a mess, but I’ll give it this: it isn’t boring. It’s a practical-effects fever dream that actually bothered to build sets instead of just filming in front of a green sheet. It’s got a bit of heart buried under the tube-filled plastic robes, even if the ending feels like the writer just gave up and hit the “reset” button. If you like watching Sam Rockwell dance-walk through an apocalypse while lecturing you on data privacy, you’ll love it. Me? I’m going to go sit in a dark room with a rotary phone and recover.

The Stars of the Show

• Sam Rockwell (The Man from the Future): He’s basically playing Sam Rockwell if he hadn’t slept for three weeks. He’s fun to watch, but I wouldn’t trust him to house-sit.
• Haley Lu Richardson (Ingrid): She’s “allergic” to Wi-Fi. Finally, a character I can relate to! She’s the only one who feels like a real person in this neon circus.
• Michael Peña & Zazie Beetz (Mark & Janet): Two teachers who have clearly had enough of your kids. Their scene with the “cellphone jammers” is the most cathartic thing I’ve seen all year.
• Juno Temple (Susan): Brings a surprising amount of genuine sadness to a movie that features a giant CGI cat.
• Asim Chaudhry (Scott): An Uber driver who gets dragged into the apocalypse. He’s mostly there for a joke at the end, which I saw coming from three blocks away.

Special Effects and Music

Verbinski apparently hates computers as much as I do, because he used a lot of “practical” tricks. The weird temporal shifts look like someone playing with a projector, which is a nice change from the usual digital mush. The music by Geoff Zanelli is loud, fast, and sounds like a drum set falling down a flight of stairs—in a good way, I guess. It keeps the pace up, even when the plot starts to trip over its own shoelaces.

Rating: 3 out of 5 Stars

It’s a loud, preachy, chaotic bowl of sci-fi soup. I hated the message but liked the mess. Better than a Barbie doll, at least.

Synopsis and Plot Breakdown

The movie opens at Norm’s Diner in Los Angeles. A disheveled man (Rockwell) claiming to be from the future bursts in, announcing that humanity has been enslaved by a rogue AI because we spent too much time on social media. This is his 117th attempt to save the world. He needs a specific combination of people from the diner to complete a six-block trek to stop the AI’s creator—a nine-year-old boy.

The group includes Mark and Janet (teachers), Susan (a grieving mother), Ingrid (a girl “allergic” to technology), and Scott (an Uber driver). As they leave, the police surround the place, and we see flashbacks of the characters’ lives being ruined by tech: Mark and Janet being hunted by their own phone-obsessed students, and Susan dealing with a “cloned” version of her dead son that is basically a walking advertisement.

They are chased through the streets by assassins in pig masks and “zombified” teenagers controlled by their phones. Along the way, they encounter a giant, AI-generated cat monster that tries to eat them. Eventually, they reach the target house and find the “creator”—a boy who is actually a clone programmed to trigger the “singularity.”

In the climax, they try to plug a USB drive into the boy’s computer to install safety protocols. The AI talks to Ingrid, trying to convince her that the “fake” happy future it offers is better than the miserable real world. Ingrid plugs it in anyway, and they seemingly win. However, in a final twist, the “Man from the Future” realizes the happy ending they are living in is just another AI simulation designed to keep them compliant. He realizes they failed again and “resets” the loop, appearing back in the diner at the start of the movie to try a 118th time.

5 Famous Quotes

1. “Do you know why the world ends? It’s not bombs. It’s nine more minutes of scrolling before you get out of bed.” — The Man from the Future
2. “I’m not crazy, I’m just from 2050. There’s a difference, though not much of one.” — The Man from the Future
3. “My son just tried to sell me Tide Pods. He’s not a boy, he’s a billboard.” — Susan
4. “If I see one more TikTok dance, I’m joining the robots.” — Mark
5. “Good luck, have fun, don’t die.” — The Man from the Future

5 Interesting Facts

1. Directorial Return: This is Gore Verbinski’s first feature film in nearly ten years, following 2017’s A Cure for Wellness.
2. Anti-AI Stance: The director was famously vocal about his hatred for AI during the press tour, calling it “plagiarism in a suit.”
3. Practical Gore: The giant cat creature was partially a practical animatronic, though enhanced with digital effects to make it look “glitchy” like AI art.
4. The Title: The title is a common phrase used in online gaming (GLHFDD), which fits the movie’s theme of society being “plugged in.”
5. Diner Location: They filmed at an actual Norm’s Diner in Los Angeles, which had to be shut down for several nights, much to the annoyance of local midnight snackers.

Photos

Trailer

The movie blends science fiction, action, and horror, with a strong dystopian corporate‑control angle (Bromley Marks is the blood‑supply megacorp). It leans into stylized violence, social‑allegory worldbuilding (scarcity, class, exploitation), and some fairly grim imagery like subsiders being marched into sunlight.

PREVIEW

The year is 2019, and the world has finally gone to the birds (well, the bats, actually). In the Spierig Brothers’ latest outing, Daybreakers, we are dropped into a dystopian future where a mysterious plague has turned the vast majority of the population into blood-sucking vampires. Forget the capes and the sparkling skin; these vampires wear suits, drink their “java” with a 20% blood blend, and drive cars with specialized UV-shielding tech because they can’t handle a little morning sunshine. It’s a world where humanity is the new endangered species, harvested like cattle in massive corporate farms to keep the immortal masses fed.

But there’s a hitch in this undead utopia: the blood supply is running dry. As the human population dwindles to less than 5%, the vampire society begins to crumble, with starving citizens de-evolving into mindless, bat-like “Subsiders.” Enter Edward Dalton, a hematologist with a conscience who refuses to drink human blood and spends his days searching for a synthetic substitute. When he crosses paths with a group of human survivors led by a man who claims to have found a “cure,” Dalton must decide if he’s willing to betray his own kind to bring back the dawn.

REVIEW BY BEN DOVER

Listen, I’ve seen a lot of things in my sixty years on this spinning rock, but watching Ethan Hawke mope around with yellow eyeballs for two hours was not on my bucket list. Daybreakers tries to be a “smart” movie about how we’re all consuming too many resources (kind of like how my grandkids consume data plans I pay for) but it’s wrapped in a package of exploding bodies and gore. Don’t get me wrong, I like a good monster flick, but this movie takes itself so seriously you’d think it was Citizen Kane with fangs. It’s 2019 in the movie, and apparently, everyone still smokes like it’s 1955. At least they got one thing right: the world is run by soulless bloodsuckers in suits. We call that “Tuesday” down at the bank.

Ethan Hawke plays Edward Dalton, and let me tell you, that man looks like he hasn’t had a decent nap since the Clinton administration. He spends the whole movie looking like he’s about to cry into his blood-coffee. Then you’ve got Sam Neill playing the corporate villain, Charles Bromley. Now, I like Sam Neill (he was great in the one with the dinosaurs) but here he’s just a grumpy CEO who wants to live forever. Big deal. Most CEOs I know are already immortal out of spite. The only one having any fun is Willem Dafoe, who shows up as a guy named “Elvis.” He’s a former vampire who got “cured” by getting ejected through a windshield into a swamp. If only curing my sciatica was that easy.

The movie has some “neat” ideas, I’ll give it that. I liked the cars that use cameras to drive because the windows are blacked out. It reminds me of how the kids today drive – staring at a screen instead of the road. But the logic is leakier than a screen door in a hurricane. They can’t handle sunlight, but they can stand near a window? And don’t get me started on the “Subsiders.” These are vampires who don’t get enough blood and turn into giant, hairless Chihuahuas with wings. They look like the special effects team ran out of money and just glued some rubber to a stuntman.

By the time the third act rolls around, the “social commentary” gets tossed out the window in favor of people literally being torn to pieces. It’s a bloodbath that would make a butcher faint. It’s “action” for people who think a car crash is a substitute for a plot. The ending is about as predictable as a tax hike, and it leaves the door open for a sequel that, thankfully, nobody ever made. It’s not the worst thing I’ve seen (that would be my nephew’s TikTok dance) but it’s a long way from a masterpiece.

Starring:

• Ethan Hawke as Edward Dalton: A vampire scientist who is “too sensitive” for the job.
• Willem Dafoe as Lionel “Elvis” Cormac: A crossbow-wielding grease monkey who survived a tan.
• Sam Neill as Charles Bromley: The guy who owns the blood. Basically every landlord I’ve ever had.
• Claudia Karvan as Audrey Bennett: A human rebel who spends a lot of time hiding in vineyards.

Special Effects: The gore is top-notch if you like seeing people pop like overfilled water balloons. The CGI cityscapes are fine, but those “Subsider” monsters look like something I’d find under my porch in the middle of July.

Music: A lot of moody violins and loud noises to tell you when to be scared. It’s loud. My ears are still ringing.

Rating: 3 out of 5 Stars – It’s a good movie considering the genre

SYNOPSIS AND PLOT BREAKDOWN

Ten years after a vampire plague has overtaken the world, society has adapted to a nocturnal existence. Edward Dalton, a lead researcher for the blood-monopoly corporation Bromley Marks, is tasked with finding a blood substitute as the human population nears extinction. Edward secretly sympathizes with humans and meets Audrey and “Elvis,” the latter of whom was a vampire who became human again after being exposed to sunlight in a very specific, accidental way.

Edward joins the human resistance and uses his scientific background to refine the “cure”—controlled sunlight exposure. Meanwhile, the CEO Charles Bromley uses his own daughter, who refuses to turn, to lure Edward back. The film culminates in a chaotic showdown at the corporate headquarters where it is discovered that the blood of a “cured” human is the ultimate antidote; any vampire who bites a cured human turns back into a human themselves. This leads to a literal feeding frenzy where the vampire soldiers eat each other into humanity, only to be slaughtered in the confusion. Edward and his friends drive off into the sunrise, hoping to spread the cure to the rest of the world.

5 FAMOUS QUOTES

1. “Life’s a bitch, and then you don’t die.”
2. “Being human is about as safe as bare-backin’ a five-dollar whore.”
3. “We are the dominant species! We are efficient, we are clean!”
4. “I’m a mechanic, Ed. I fix things. I don’t fix people.”
5. “Welcome back to the real world.”

5 INTERESTING FACTS

1. Aussie Roots: Despite the American setting, the movie was actually filmed in Queensland, Australia. Apparently, the Aussies know a thing or two about things that want to kill you.
2. Allegory Overload: The directors intended the blood shortage to be a direct metaphor for the peak oil crisis. Because nothing says “save the environment” like a vampire exploding in a hallway.
3. The “Subsider” Design: The de-evolved vampires were designed to look like a cross between a bat and a human fetus. Disturbing? Yes. Necessary? Probably not.
4. Long Road to Release: The film was finished in 2007 but sat on a shelf for over two years before Lionsgate finally put it in theaters in 2010.
5. Scientific Accuracy (Sort of): The “sunlight cure” in the film involves a very specific “controlled burst” of UV radiation, which the filmmakers actually consulted with scientists to make sound slightly less ridiculous than “I fell in a pond.”

ADDITIONAL FUN FACTS BY BEN DOVER

• The “Sparkle” Shade: The directors, the Spierig Brothers, were very vocal about the fact that they wanted their vampires to be the exact opposite of the Twilight crowd. They made sure Ethan Hawke didn’t sparkle; instead, they gave him a “fluorescent office light” pallor. Basically, they wanted him to look like he works a double shift at a 7-Eleven.
• A Family Affair: The directors are identical twins. I can barely handle one director telling people what to do, let alone two of them with the same face. They actually did a lot of the digital effects themselves on their home computers to save money. That explains why some of those “Subsider” bats look like they were rendered on a toaster.
• The 2:00 AM School Zone: If you pay attention to the background, there’s a sign for a school zone that lists the crossing hours as 2:00 AM to 3:00 AM. It’s a clever touch, but as someone who values his sleep, the idea of a bunch of undead fourth-graders running around while I’m trying to catch my stories is my personal version of hell.
• Sam Neill’s Blood Bath: Sam Neill, who plays the corporate big-wig, said in an interview that he was a bit hesitant when the directors asked if they could “throw a bucket of blood” over him. He’s a refined, Shakespearean-level actor, and here he is getting doused in corn syrup and red dye. That’s what we call “selling your soul for a paycheck,” folks.
• The Smoking Gun: You’ll notice almost every vampire in the movie is a chain-smoker. The filmmakers did this because, since the vampires are already dead and immortal, they don’t have to worry about lung cancer or heart disease. It’s the only part of the movie that makes me jealous—imagine being able to enjoy a cigar without my doctor giving me a thirty-minute lecture on “lifestyle choices.”

PHOTOS

TRAILER

In an era where the local cinema is being choked to death by capes, spandex, and sequels nobody asked for, comes a movie about a man who doesn’t even exist. Free Guy stars Ryan Reynolds as a bank teller named Guy who spends his days getting robbed, shot at, and stepped on, which, frankly, sounds like a typical Tuesday for anyone trying to navigate a self-checkout lane at the grocery store. It’s a loud, neon-soaked romp that asks the question: “What if the background characters in those violent video games your grandson won’t stop playing actually had feelings?”

The film follows Guy as he realizes his entire reality is a video game called “Free City,” a place where people with sunglasses (the players) run around committing casual grand larceny while the rest of the world just smiles and orders medium coffee. While the premise smells a bit like a microwave-reheated version of The Truman Show or The Lego Movie, the star power of Reynolds and the promise of enough CGI to melt a supercomputer might just be enough to lure the kids away from their tablets for two hours. Whether the rest of us can survive the sensory overload remains to be seen.

Review by Ben Dover

Lord, give me strength. I went into Free Guy expecting to have a stroke from all the flashing lights, and while I’m still upright, my brain feels like it’s been through a spin cycle with a bag of marbles. This movie is what happens when you take a decent idea about existentialism and let a bunch of hyperactive teenagers with unlimited credit cards call the shots. Ryan Reynolds plays Guy, and look, the man is charming… I get it. He’s got that “I’m handsome but I’m also a goofball” thing down to a science. But at 60 years old, watching a grown man act with the wide-eyed innocence of a toddler who just discovered his own toes for two hours is a bit much.

The plot is a mess of “save the world” drivel mixed with a legal dispute over computer code. Apparently, some evil tech mogul played by Taika Waititi who spends the whole movie acting like he’s had sixteen espressos and a slap to the face, or in other words Tuesday for him, stole a program from two “indie” developers. These kids today and their “indie” projects. Back in my day, if you had a project, you built a birdhouse in the garage, you didn’t invent a digital universe where people blow up post offices for “experience points.” The movie spends half its time in the real world with these programmers and the other half in the game, and frankly, both worlds are equally annoying.

I will say this: for a movie that celebrates the kind of mindless violence that makes me want to yell at the neighbor kids to get off my lawn, it’s surprisingly “sweet.” Guy decides he wants to be a “good guy” instead of a “great guy” or whatever the hell the tagline was. He starts leveling up by helping people. It’s a nice sentiment, I suppose, but it’s wrapped in so much product placement and “gamer” cameos that I felt like I was being shouted at by a billboard for two hours. I saw people on screen called “Ninja” and “Jacksepticeye.” Are those names or skin conditions? I don’t know, and at my age, I don’t care to learn.

The romance between Guy and the girl in the real world (Jodie Comer) is where the movie really trips over its own shoelaces. He’s a bunch of ones and zeros, she’s a human being. It’s like falling in love with your toaster, only the toaster has better hair and cracks jokes about Marvel movies. By the time we got to the big climax where a giant, unfinished version of Reynolds starts punching things, I was checking my watch and wondering if the early bird special at the diner was still running. It’s a “fun” movie if you’re twelve or if you’ve recently had a lobotomy, but for the rest of us, it’s just a lot of noise.

Stars: 3.5 out of 5 (It gets half a star extra because the goldfish was the most relatable character in the whole damn thing.) Seriously it’s fun but I wouldn’t say it’s good.

The Cast

• Ryan Reynolds as Guy: He plays a bank teller who discovers he’s a background character. Reynolds does his usual schtick—fast-talking, slightly sarcastic, but “earnest.” It works, but I’ve seen it in about twenty other movies.
• Jodie Comer as Millie / Molotov Girl: She plays the “cool” gamer girl and the real-world developer. She’s actually quite good, though why she’d fall for a digital bank teller is a mystery that even Sherlock Holmes couldn’t solve.
• Joe Keery as Keys: A programmer with hair that defies the laws of physics. I’m told he’s in that Stranger Things show the kids like. He spends most of the movie looking stressed, which is the most realistic part of the film.
• Taika Waititi as Antwan: The villain. He’s the CEO of the game company. He’s funny, I guess, if you like watching a grown man have a public meltdown for ninety minutes.
• Lil Rel Howery as Buddy: Guy’s best friend and a security guard. He’s the heart of the movie, and frankly, the only person I’d actually want to grab a beer with.

Special Effects & Music

The special effects are… a lot. It’s a “visual feast,” if by “feast” you mean a giant tub of cotton candy that gives you a headache after ten minutes. Everything in “Free City” is bright, shiny, and constantly exploding. There’s a scene with buildings collapsing and gravity shifting that looked expensive, but it just made me want to take a nap in a dark room.

As for the music, it’s a mix of orchestral swells and pop songs. They use Mariah Carey’s “Fantasy” about 400 times. I liked that song back in ’95, but after this movie, I’m ready to bury it in a shallow grave. There’s also a bunch of references to other movies: Star Wars, Marvel, etc. because apparently, Disney owns everything now including my soul.

Synopsis and Plot Breakdown

The story begins in Free City, a violent, open-world video game where “Players” (the ones wearing sunglasses) spend their time murdering and robbing “Non-Player Characters” (NPCs) like Guy. Guy is a bank teller whose life is a literal loop: he wakes up, talks to his goldfish, gets the same coffee, and gets robbed at work. This continues until he sees Molotov Girl (Millie) walking down the street singing a song he recognizes.

Suddenly “waking up,” Guy steals a pair of sunglasses from a player and realizes he can see the game’s interface including health packs, missions, and money. Instead of being a jerk, he decides to level up by being a “Good Guy,” intervening in crimes and helping citizens. This makes him a viral sensation in the real world known as “Blue Shirt Guy.” In reality, Millie is a programmer trying to find evidence that the CEO of Soonami Games, Antwan, stole the A.I. code she and her friend Keys wrote. She realizes Guy isn’t a player—he’s an actual sentient A.I. born from her code. Antwan, desperate to launch a sequel (Free City 2) and delete the original game (and Guy) to hide his theft, orders his team to destroy the world.

The movie culminates in a race against time. Guy has to lead the other NPCs to a hidden “island” the original build of Millie and Keys’ game before Antwan smashes the servers with a fire axe. Guy survives, the truth comes out, Antwan loses his company, and Millie realizes that Guy was actually a digital “love letter” written for her by Keys. It’s all very mushy and digital, and everyone lives happily ever after in a world without lag.

Famous Quotes

1. “Don’t have a good day, have a great day!”
2. “It’s like my tongue had a baby with a sunrise.”
3. “I may not be real, but for a second there, I felt pretty alive.”
4. “He hits hard… but his hands are so soft.”
5. “Catchphrase!” (Said by Dude, the giant muscle-bound version of Guy).

Interesting Facts

• Cameos Galore: The movie features the late Alex Trebek in one of his final appearances. Even I like Alex. A class act.
• The Disney Vault: Because Disney bought Fox during production, they were able to use things like Captain America’s shield and a Lightsaber in the final fight. Great, more branding.
• Real Gamers: Several real-life internet “stars” like Ninja and Pokimane appear as themselves. I still don’t know what a “Pokimane” is, but it sounds like something you’d need a cream for.
• Double Ryan: To create the character of “Dude,” Ryan Reynolds’ face was digitally put onto the body of a 300-pound bodybuilder named Aaron W. Reed.
• Location, Location: While it looks like a digital city, much of the movie was actually filmed in Boston. They just added a bunch of neon and explosions later so people wouldn’t recognize the Dunkin’ Donuts on every corner.

Photos

Trailer

Look, if you wanted to see a movie where things actually make sense, you should’ve stayed home and watched the news. Free Guy is less of a film and more of a “Where’s Waldo” book for people who spend too much time on the internet. My eyes are still twitching from all the “blink-and-you’ll-miss-it” nonsense they crammed into the background.

Since you asked, here’s a breakdown of the visual gags and references that I had to squint at while my theater seat vibrated like a cheap motel bed.

Visual Gags & Gaming Glitches

Because the movie is set in a video game, they decided to include all the annoying things that happen when a computer program is poorly written. I call them “bugs,” but apparently, the kids think they’re “hilarious.”

• The Wall-Runner: Early on, you can see a background character repeatedly running into a wall and jumping. It’s supposed to be a “glitch,” but it reminds me of my nephew trying to find the bathroom after three root beers.
• The “T-Pose” Terror: There are characters standing in a “T” shape with their arms out. Apparently, that’s what happens when a digital person hasn’t finished loading. In my day, we just called that a statue.
• Character Customization Gone Wrong: You’ll see people running around in ridiculous outfits—bunny suits, neon armor, and tactical gear that makes no sense. It’s like a Halloween party at an asylum.
• Physics? What Physics?: Cars fly through the air, buildings shift, and people fall from skyscrapers only to walk it off. It’s a nightmare for anyone who actually respects the law of gravity.
• The “Hands Up” Guy: One NPC at the bank has his hands permanently stuck in the air because he’s programmed to be robbed every day. It’s a decent metaphor for being a taxpayer, if you ask me.

The Big Disney/Pop Culture Flex

Once Disney bought the studio, they clearly decided to use every toy in the chest. The final fight is basically a commercial for other, better movies.

• Captain America’s Shield: Guy pulls out the star-spangled frisbee to block a punch. Then they cut to Chris Evans himself looking annoyed in a coffee shop. Fun fact: He probably made more in those three seconds than I made in all of 1984.
• The Hulk Smash: Guy’s arm turns into a giant green fist. It’s subtle, like a sledgehammer to the forehead.
• Star Wars Shenanigans: Guy whips out a blue lightsaber while that John Williams music blares. I’ll admit, the music is better than the movie, but seeing a bank teller play Jedi is a bit much.
• Fortnite Tools: He uses a “Rainbow Smash” pickaxe, which is a llama on a stick. Don’t ask me why. I stopped trying to understand “Fortnite” when I realized it didn’t involve building actual forts.
• Portal Guns: He uses a device from a game called Portal to create holes in space. Finally, a way to get out of a conversation with my neighbor, Dave.

Hidden “Easter Eggs” for the Nerds

• Mega Man’s Blaster: At one point, Guy uses a blue arm-cannon. It’s a reference to a little blue robot from the 80s. At least that’s a reference I actually recognize.
• Half-Life Gravity Gun: He uses a gun that picks up objects and flings them. Very handy for moving furniture, I’d imagine.
• Pac-Man Cameo: There’s a Pac-Man hologram and a “Blinky” (the red ghost) lamp in the programmer’s apartment. It’s nice to see a celebrity from my generation getting some work.
• The Jeopardy! Cameo: The late, great Alex Trebek shows up as a “Jeopardy!” clue about Guy. It’s a bittersweet moment—Alex was the only person on TV who made me feel smart.
• Deadpool Poster: In one of the “real world” bedrooms, there’s a poster for Deadpool. It’s Ryan Reynolds high-fiving himself. Typical.

Spider-Man swings back into action in this eagerly anticipated sequel that finds Peter Parker struggling to balance his dual identity as a college student and web-slinging superhero. Director Sam Raimi returns with Tobey Maguire reprising his role as the conflicted young hero, this time facing off against the multi-tentacled menace Doctor Octopus, played by Alfred Molina. Kirsten Dunst and James Franco return as Mary Jane Watson and Harry Osborn, respectively, as Peter’s personal relationships become increasingly complicated by his secret life.

Set two years after the events of the first film, this sequel promises to delve deeper into the psychological toll of being a superhero, exploring themes of sacrifice, responsibility, and the price of heroism. With a reported budget of $200 million, Columbia Pictures has spared no expense in creating spectacular action sequences featuring improved special effects and more ambitious set pieces. Early buzz suggests this may be one of the rare sequels that surpasses its predecessor, combining Sam Raimi’s distinctive visual style with a more mature exploration of the Spider-Man mythology.

Review by Ben Dover

Back in my day, we had heroes like John Wayne and Clint Eastwood. They didn’t need fancy tights or to swing from buildings. They just needed a horse, a six-shooter, and a grim determination to kick some butt. Now we have this Spider-Man fella, and…well, I’ll be damned. They actually made a superhero movie that doesn’t make me want to throw my nachos at the screen. And coming from a guy who thinks most comic book movies are about as sophisticated as Saturday morning cartoons, that’s saying something. “Spider-Man 2” is what happens when you get a director who understands that under all that spandex, there’s supposed to be an actual human being.

Tobey Maguire’s back as our friendly neighborhood wall-crawler, and this time he’s actually dealing with real problems instead of just punching bad guys and making wisecracks. The kid’s broke, he’s failing his classes, his aunt’s about to lose her house, and the girl he loves is dating some pretty boy actor. Oh, and he’s losing his spider powers because he’s having an identity crisis. The movie tries to make us feel sorry for him, but I just wanted to smack him across the face and tell him to grow up. The film is great because it shows how hard it is to be a hero, but it’s also infuriating because the hero is such a pathetic mess.

The real star here though is Alfred Molina as Doctor Octopus, or “Doc Ock” if you’re into the whole brevity thing. Now this is how you do a villain! He’s not some cackling maniac in a ridiculous costume – he’s a brilliant scientist who gets turned into a monster by his own ambition. Molina plays him with just the right mix of tragedy and menace. When those metal arms first attach to his spine, you actually feel sorry for the guy. Then he starts throwing cars around and you remember why heroes exist in the first place.

But here’s what really gets me about this movie – it’s got heart. Real heart, not the manufactured emotional manipulation you get in most of these CGI spectacles. When Peter Parker quits being Spider-Man, you understand why. The kid’s tired, he’s been getting beaten up for two years straight, and nobody even knows he’s doing it. That’s real sacrifice, not the phony “I must save the world because the script says so” garbage we usually get.

The action scenes are something else too. That train fight sequence? Jesus, Mary, and Joseph! It’s like watching a live-action comic book, but one where the physics actually matter and people get hurt when they hit things. Sam Raimi knows how to stage action so you can actually follow what’s happening, unlike these modern directors who think shaking the camera makes everything more “intense.”

My only real gripe is with all the sappy parts. There’s a lot of talk about responsibility and sacrifice, and it gets a little old. I get it, he’s a hero. He has to make tough choices. But do we have to dwell on it for half the movie? Let’s just have some action and stop with all the navel-gazing. All in all, this is a fun movie, even for a curmudgeon like me. It has some great action, a fantastic villain, and a few emotional moments that almost made me shed a tear. But don’t tell anyone I said that.

Cast & Performances

Tobey Maguire returns as Peter Parker/Spider-Man, and he’s found his groove with this character. Maguire’s always been better at the awkward Peter Parker side than the wise-cracking Spider-Man, and this movie plays to his strengths. His performance when he loses his powers is genuinely touching.

Alfred Molina steals every scene as Dr. Otto Octavius/Doctor Octopus. The man brings Shakespeare-level gravitas to a guy with metal arms coming out of his back. It shouldn’t work, but Molina makes you believe every minute of it.

Kirsten Dunst returns as Mary Jane Watson, and she’s… fine. Look, she does what’s asked of her, but the character’s still basically just there to get rescued and provide romantic tension. Could be worse, I suppose.

James Franco as Harry Osborn continues his descent into madness over his father’s death. Franco’s good at playing unhinged, which serves him well here as he plots revenge against his best friend’s alter ego.

Rosemary Harris as Aunt May continues to be the moral center of these films. The woman could read the phone book and make it emotionally resonant.

J.K. Simmons as J. Jonah Jameson remains the perfect comic relief, playing the bombastic newspaper editor like he was born for the role. Which, let’s face it, he probably was. He hates Spider-Man more than I hate modern music.

Technical Aspects

Special Effects: Here’s where the extra budget shows. The Doc Ock tentacles look real, they move with weight and personality, and the computer effects blend seamlessly with the practical stunts. No cartoon nonsense here – when Spider-Man gets thrown through a window, you feel it. The effects feel real and menacing, not like some cheap CGI mess. The train sequence is a masterclass in visual effects and practical effects working together. It’s a jaw-dropping sequence that will have you on the edge of your seat. And Spider-Man’s swinging scenes are better than ever. The physics seem more realistic, and the sense of speed is palpable. This movie’s effects hold up even today.

Music: Danny Elfman returns with another bombastic score that knows when to soar and when to pull back for the quiet moments. The man understands that superhero music should be heroic, not just loud.

Rating: ★★★★★

I’m giving “Spider-Man 2” the full five stars, and I’m as surprised as you are. This is how you make a superhero movie – you focus on the human story first, then add the spectacle. It’s got heart, brains, amazing action, and it treats its characters like real people instead of action figures. If all comic book movies were this good, I might actually start liking the genre.

Complete Plot Synopsis

Two years have passed since Peter Parker first became Spider-Man, and the weight of his dual identity is taking its toll. Peter struggles financially, barely keeping up with his college studies while working part-time as a photographer for the Daily Bugle. His relationship with Aunt May is strained as she faces foreclosure on her house, and his friendship with Harry Osborn grows complicated as Harry blames Spider-Man for his father’s death. Most painfully, Peter watches from afar as Mary Jane Watson pursues her acting career and dates astronaut John Jameson.

The stress of his double life begins manifesting physically – Peter’s spider powers start failing him at crucial moments, nearly getting him killed during routine superhero duties. Meanwhile, brilliant scientist Dr. Otto Octavius is preparing to demonstrate his fusion power experiment, using artificial intelligence-controlled mechanical arms to manipulate dangerous materials. Peter attends the demonstration, but when the experiment goes horribly wrong, the arms fuse permanently to Octavius’s spine and their AI chips are damaged, making them malevolent and controlling.

The accident kills Octavius’s wife and transforms him into the villainous Doctor Octopus. His personality becomes influenced by the arms’ damaged programming, driving him to obtain tritium to rebuild his fusion reactor, regardless of the danger to New York City. During their first encounter, Doc Ock nearly defeats Spider-Man, leaving Peter more demoralized than ever.

Finally reaching his breaking point, Peter makes the devastating decision to quit being Spider-Man. He throws his costume in a trash can and attempts to live a normal life. Initially, things improve – his grades go up, his friendship with Harry strengthens, and he finally tells Mary Jane how he feels about her. However, without Spider-Man protecting the city, crime rates soar, and Doc Ock’s rampage continues unchecked.

The turning point comes when Peter visits Aunt May and confesses that he feels responsible for Uncle Ben’s death. Aunt May’s wisdom about heroism and responsibility helps Peter realize he cannot abandon his calling. When Doc Ock kidnaps Mary Jane to force Spider-Man into the open, Peter reclaims his costume and powers, leading to a spectacular battle aboard an out-of-control elevated train.

The climax takes place at Doc Ock’s reconstructed fusion reactor, which threatens to destroy half of Manhattan. In a moment of clarity before his sacrifice, Otto Octavius briefly overcomes his arms’ influence and destroys the reactor, drowning himself and the machine in the river. Peter reveals his identity to Mary Jane, but tells her they cannot be together because of the dangers his life brings to those he loves.

The film ends with Mary Jane making her own choice – she leaves her wedding to John Jameson and finds Peter, telling him she’s willing to accept the risks of loving Spider-Man. Their kiss is interrupted by police sirens, and Peter swings into action once more, with Mary Jane watching proudly from his apartment window.

Famous Quotes from the Movie

1. “With great power comes great responsibility.” – Uncle Ben (via Aunt May)
2. “The power of the sun, in the palm of my hand.” – Dr. Otto Octavius
3. “I’m Spider-Man no more.” – Peter Parker
4. “Pizza time!” – Pizza delivery boy (Peter Parker)
5. “He’s a menace! A criminal! I want the public to see Spider-Man for the fraud he is.” – J. Jonah Jameson
6. “You were the one who taught me that sacrifice is a part of life. You taught me to be a better person.” – Peter Parker
7. “Go get ’em, tiger.” – Mary Jane Watson

Interesting Movie Facts

1. Practical Tentacles: The Doctor Octopus arms were primarily practical puppets operated by a team of puppeteers, not CGI, giving them realistic weight and movement.
2. Train Sequence: The famous train fight was filmed using a combination of real elevated train cars and miniatures, with Tobey Maguire performing many of his own stunts. It took 4 months to film
3. Costume Changes: Spider-Man’s costume was redesigned with raised webbing and more flexible materials to allow for better stunt work and more dynamic poses.
4. Tobey and I both have bad backs: Tobey Maguire’s back problems nearly cost him the role. Jake Gyllenhaal, who was dating Kirsten Dunst at the time, was considered as a replacement.
5. Budget Record: With a $200 million budget, it was one of the most expensive films ever made at the time of its release in 2004.
6. Alfred Molina’s Preparation: Molina worked with a movement coach to develop the unique way Doc Ock walks and moves with his mechanical arms, treating them as extensions of his character’s personality.

Rant

Photos

Trailer

Prepare yourself for a tale of vengeance, loss, and the unlikely grace of a highly trained assassin named Eve Macarro. If you thought the John Wick films were over the top, then strap in, because this one promises to turn the volume up to eleven. Will our protagonist find the justice she craves, or will she simply become another casualty in the high-stakes world of assassins?

Review by Ben Dover

Alright, you whippersnappers, settle down and listen up. Another John Wick movie, only this time it ain’t John Wick, it’s some dame named Eve. Ballerina, they call it. And let me tell you, if you like watching pretty people get the living snot kicked out of them in incredibly inventive ways, then you’re in for a treat. But don’t expect Shakespeare, or even a coherent plot, for that matter. This movie is about as deep as a puddle after a light drizzle.

So, this Eve character, played by Ana de Armas, she’s an assassin who’s also a ballerina. Because, of course, that’s a perfectly logical combination. She’s out for revenge because her family got rubbed out. You know, the usual. The Director, played by Anjelica Huston (who clearly just shows up for a paycheck and to deliver a few menacing lines), takes her in and trains her at this assassin-ballet school. What, no tap dancing with shurikens? Missed opportunity, I tell ya. Then, years later, she finds a clue and decides to go rogue, much to the chagrin of the “rules” of this “world” they keep yammering about.

Now, where this movie shines, and I mean really shines, is the action. Good Lord, the stunts in this thing are insane. Flamethrowers, ice skates, grenades taped to bad guys’ necks – it’s like a blood-soaked Rube Goldberg machine of mayhem. They even got Keanu Reeves to pop in for a bit, probably just to make sure everyone remembers this is a John Wick spin-off and not, you know, a good movie on its own. He still mumbles, bless his heart. The plot, as I said, is thinner than my patience with these TikTok trends, but who cares when you’re watching someone get set on fire in slow motion?

However, and this is where my crankiness really kicks in, they spend way too much time on the “story.” This movie has an identity crisis. It wants to be a character study about revenge and fate, but then it just devolves into another mindless shootout. Pick a lane, Hollywood! And some of the dialogue? Oy vey. It’s like a bad fortune cookie wrote it. But then again, these young folks nowadays eat that stuff up. “Empowering!” they’ll scream, while completely missing the point that it’s just a lot of punching and kicking.

Overall, if you’re a fan of the John Wick universe and just want more of the same, albeit with a slightly different flavor of pain, you’ll probably get a kick out of Ballerina. Just leave your brain at the door and enjoy the fireworks. And seriously, what’s with all the glowing wrist tattoos? Is that a new fad I’m too old to understand?

Starring

• Ana de Armas as Eve Macarro: Our titular ballerina-turned-assassin seeking vengeance. She certainly can kick and punch with the best of them, even if her character’s motivations are a bit… flimsy. She previously showed she could handle action in No Time to Die.
• Anjelica Huston as The Director: The formidable head of the Ruska Roma crime syndicate/ballet school. She’s got that menacing matriarch vibe down cold, even if her screen time is limited.
• Gabriel Byrne as The Chancellor: The “chief villain,” leading a cult of assassins. He brings a certain gravitas, even when the plot goes off the rails.
• Lance Reddick as Charon: The ever-dignified concierge of the Continental Hotel. A bittersweet final appearance for the late actor.
• Ian McShane as Winston Scott: The enigmatic owner of the New York Continental. Still as charmingly aloof as ever, doling out cryptic advice.
• Keanu Reeves as John Wick: The man himself, making a cameo to remind us whose universe this really is. He’s still got it, even if his role here is more of a glorified cameo.
• Norman Reedus as Daniel Pine
• Catalina Sandino Moreno as Lena
• Sharon Duncan-Brewster as Nogi

Special Effects

The special effects in Ballerina are mostly practical, which is a breath of fresh air in an age of green screens and CGI mush. When someone gets set on fire, they look like they actually got set on fire! The stunt work is phenomenal, truly a highlight. The flamethrower sequences, in particular, are incredibly well-executed and look genuinely dangerous, which is saying something. They really went all out to make the action feel real and visceral. They even apparently had Ana de Armas setting stuntmen on fire herself, which is… certainly a choice. The “grenade-fu” sequence in a gun shop also deserves a shout-out for its inventiveness. This is where the film earns its stripes.

Music

The score, composed by Joel J. Richard and Tyler Bates (who worked on previous John Wick films), is exactly what you’d expect: thumping, propulsive, and designed to get your heart racing during the action sequences. It’s good, but nothing particularly memorable outside of the immediate moment. There’s also a song called “Hand That Feeds” by Halsey and Amy Lee, which I’m sure the kids will love. It fits the “angry female assassin” vibe, I suppose. It serves its purpose, but I won’t be adding it to my record collection, that’s for sure.

Rating

4 out of 5 Hot Ass-assins

Synopsis and Plot Breakdown

Ballerina follows Eve Macarro (Ana de Armas), a highly trained assassin who is also a dancer within the Ruska Roma, a criminal organization that doubles as a ballet school. The film is set between the events of John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum and John Wick: Chapter 4.

Plot Breakdown:

The story begins with a young Eve witnessing the brutal murder of her family, specifically her father, by a group of assailants marked with a distinctive “X” shaped scar. Orphaned and traumatized, she is eventually brought to the Ruska Roma by Winston Scott (Ian McShane), the owner of the New York Continental Hotel. Under the stern tutelage of The Director (Anjelica Huston) and Nogi (Sharon Duncan-Brewster), Eve is rigorously trained in both ballet and the art of assassination, becoming a “Kikimora,” a protector/assassin. During her training, she even has a brief encounter with John Wick (Keanu Reeves), who advises her to abandon her path of violence, though she ultimately disregards his warning.

Years later, now a formidable assassin, Eve discovers information that leads her to believe the same group responsible for her family’s death, a cult led by The Chancellor (Gabriel Byrne), is still active. Disobeying the rules of the Ruska Roma and The Director, Eve embarks on a personal quest for vengeance. Her investigation leads her to various dangerous encounters, including a gun shop in Prague where she uses grenades in incredibly inventive ways to fight off assailants. She also connects with Charon (Lance Reddick) at the New York Continental for information.

Eve eventually tracks down Daniel Pine (Norman Reedus), a former member of the cult, who has escaped with his daughter, Ella. Pine provides Eve with crucial intelligence about The Chancellor and his operations. However, the cultists, led by Lena (Catalina Sandino Moreno), attack them at a Continental hotel, and Ella is kidnapped.

Eve’s pursuit leads her to a remote, snow-covered town in Austria, revealed to be a stronghold for The Chancellor’s cult, where every adult is a trained killer. She faces a relentless onslaught of assassins, culminating in a series of brutal, highly choreographed fights, including an ice skating rink brawl. During her confrontation with The Chancellor, it’s revealed that Pine is his son and Ella his granddaughter, and also that Lena is Eve’s older sister.

The Chancellor, infuriated by Eve’s actions, contacts The Director, leading to a declaration of war between their factions. To appease the Chancellor, The Director sends John Wick to eliminate Eve. John finds Eve in Hallstatt, and after a fierce battle where he repeatedly spares her, he gives her a short window to finish her revenge before he continues his contract. With John providing cover from a distance, Eve battles through the cult’s remaining forces, eventually cornering The Chancellor. Despite his attempts to reason with her, Eve executes him and rescues Ella.

The film concludes with Eve bringing Ella to the New York Continental to reunite her with a recovering Pine. With The Chancellor dead, a new bounty is placed on Eve, making her the next target in the dangerous underworld. She leaves the ballet performance of her friend Tatiana, ready to face the consequences of her choices.

Famous Quotes from the Movie

1. “Did you think you could just walk away?”
2. “Those men from your past, don’t let them steal your future.”
3. “I’m you in ten years.”
4. “Better to be inside the tent wizzing out rather than to be outside wizzing in.”
5. “Cool.”

Notes from the Movie

• The film takes place between the events of John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum and John Wick: Chapter 4, providing a deeper look into the interconnected assassin underworld.
• Ana de Armas reportedly performed many of her own stunts and even had to set stuntmen on fire for the flamethrower sequences, which she found emotionally challenging at first.
• Lance Reddick’s appearance as Charon marks one of his final screen performances before his passing.
• The stunt team for Ballerina created a new fireproof gel to protect stunt people during the extensive flamethrower scenes, allowing for nearly 200 full or partial burns in just eight days of shooting without incident.
• The movie deliberately subverts the common phrase “fight like a girl,” turning it into a motto for fighting smarter and with adaptability, as demonstrated by Eve’s unique combat style.

Trailer

Wallpaper

Our hero’s peaceful new existence is shattered when a botched car theft escalates into a full-blown hostage situation at a seemingly normal, yet surprisingly fortified, mansion. As if dealing with three unpredictable, idiotic teenagers wasn’t enough, it turns out the homeowner has more secrets than a politician’s offshore bank account. And those secrets? They’re about to put our man’s own family squarely in the crosshairs. Buckle up, because things are about to get very, very complicated.

Review by Ben Dover

Alright, so “Hostage.” Another day, another Bruce Willis movie where he scowls his way through a mess. You know the drill. He’s a cop, he’s got a tortured past, and suddenly, he’s the only one who can save the day. It’s like they just plug in a new script to the same old Willis template. Don’t get me wrong, the guy can still carry a movie, but I swear, I’ve seen more emotional range from a brick. At least he’s not trying to sing this time, I suppose.

The premise itself is decent enough. A former hostage negotiator, trying to escape the trauma of a past failure, finds himself right back in the thick of it. And of course, his own family gets dragged into it because that’s how these things work. It adds a nice layer of personal stakes, I’ll give them that. But then they throw in these dumb teenagers who bumble their way through the initial robbery, and you’re left wondering if they’ve ever watched a movie about crime. They’re more annoying than threatening, except for that one freak.

Now, that freak, Mars, played by Ben Foster, he’s the real gem here. This kid is genuinely unsettling. While the other two delinquents are busy being incompetent, Mars is just… off. He’s got that wide-eyed, unsettling stare, and you know he’s capable of anything. He’s the only character who feels truly dangerous, and he elevates what could have been a very generic thriller into something a bit more tense. Honestly, without him, this whole thing would just be Willis grumbling at some whiny kids.

The plot twists and turns like a crooked politician trying to avoid a subpoena. Just when you think it’s a straightforward hostage situation, they introduce a shadowy organization, a dirty accountant, and a bunch of other shenanigans. It gets a bit convoluted, and frankly, I was starting to lose track of who was double-crossing whom. But hey, at least it keeps you guessing, even if it feels like they’re just making it up as they go along. Overall, it’s a decent enough time-waster, especially if you’re a fan of Willis doing his thing, which, let’s be honest, we all are, despite our complaints.

Starring

• Bruce Willis as Jeff Talley: The former LAPD hostage negotiator, now a small-town police chief. Still got that brooding intensity, even if he looks like he’d rather be on a golf course.
• Kevin Pollak as Walter Smith: The accountant with more secrets than a squirrel buried nuts. He’s the reason all this mayhem happens, naturally.
• Ben Foster as Mars Krupcheck: The truly disturbed and unpredictable member of the teenage trio. This kid stole every scene he was in. Give him more roles where he can be creepy.
• Jonathan Tucker as Dennis Kelly: The “leader” of the teenage thugs, who probably watched too many gangster movies and thought he knew what he was doing. He didn’t.
• Marshall Allman as Kevin Kelly: Dennis’s younger brother, caught up in the stupidity of his older sibling. He’s the slightly less annoying of the two.
• Michelle Horn as Jennifer Smith: Walter Smith’s teenage daughter, stuck in the middle of a nightmare, and far too smart for these buffoons.
• Jimmy Bennett as Tommy Smith: Walter Smith’s young son, who proves that even little kids can be resourceful when their lives depend on it.
• Serena Scott Thomas as Jane Talley: Jeff’s long-suffering wife, who probably wonders why she ever married a cop.
• Rumer Willis as Amanda Talley: Jeff’s daughter, played by Bruce Willis’s real-life daughter. A bit of nepotism never hurt anyone, I guess.

Special Effects

The special effects in “Hostage” are pretty much what you’d expect from a mid-2000s action thriller. Lots of explosions, shattered glass, and general destruction. It’s all competently done, nothing groundbreaking, but it gets the job done. The house getting shot up and eventually going up in flames looks realistic enough to make you feel bad for the poor accountant’s insurance company. There are a few moments where the practical effects shine, especially with the close-quarters combat and the general mess that unfolds inside the house. No distracting CGI monsters or spaceships, just good old-fashioned mayhem. Sometimes simple is better, especially when the plot is already trying to tie itself in knots.

Music

The score by Alexandre Desplat is… well, it’s there. It’s effective in building tension, with a lot of those low, rumbling sounds that are supposed to make you feel uneasy. You know, the kind of music that screams “something bad is about to happen, but not quite yet.” There are some quieter, more melancholic pieces too, especially when they’re trying to inject some emotional depth into Willis’s character. But honestly, it’s not the kind of soundtrack you’ll be humming in the shower. It does its job, supports the mood, and doesn’t get in the way. It’s not a Hans Zimmer masterpiece, but it’s not elevator music either. It just kind of… exists.

Rating

3.5 out of 5 grumpy action stars

Synopsis and Plot Breakdown

Former LAPD SWAT officer and hostage negotiator Jeff Talley (Bruce Willis) is left traumatized after a failed negotiation results in the deaths of a young boy and his mother. Blaming himself, Talley quits the LAPD and moves with his estranged wife, Jane (Serena Scott Thomas), and daughter, Amanda (Rumer Willis), to the quiet, suburban town of Bristo Camino, taking on the role of police chief, hoping for a simpler life.

One year later, three teenage delinquents – the hot-headed Dennis Kelly (Jonathan Tucker), his timid younger brother Kevin (Marshall Allman), and the psychopathic Mars Krupcheck (Ben Foster) – attempt to steal a car in Bristo Camino. The car belongs to a wealthy accountant, Walter Smith (Kevin Pollak), who lives in a heavily fortified mansion with his teenage daughter Jennifer (Michelle Horn) and young son Tommy (Jimmy Bennett). When a responding police officer is shot, the botched robbery quickly escalates into a full-blown hostage situation inside the Smith mansion.

Talley arrives at the scene, and despite his initial reluctance to get involved in another high-stakes negotiation, he’s forced to take charge. However, he soon learns that Smith is no ordinary accountant; he’s been laundering money for a powerful, shadowy criminal syndicate. Smith possesses a crucial encrypted DVD containing incriminating financial information, and the syndicate wants it back. To force Talley’s hand, the syndicate, led by a mysterious figure known as “The Watchman” (Kim Coates), kidnaps Talley’s wife and daughter, threatening to kill them if he doesn’t retrieve the DVD from Smith’s house.

Now, Talley is caught between a rock and a hard place: he must navigate the increasingly volatile situation inside the mansion, where Mars’s unpredictable and violent behavior poses a constant threat to the Smith family, all while secretly trying to retrieve the DVD for the syndicate to save his own family. The film becomes a tense cat-and-mouse game as Talley tries to outsmart both the teenage captors and the more professional, ruthless syndicate members. Inside the house, Tommy, the young son, proves surprisingly cunning, using hidden passages and a cell phone to communicate with Talley. The situation spirals into chaos with gunfights, explosions, and betrayals, culminating in a violent confrontation where Talley must confront the syndicate and protect both his family and the remaining hostages.

5 Famous Quotes from Hostage

1. “This is my town now. My rules. You understand me?” – Jeff Talley
2. “You don’t understand. I need that money. My family is in danger!” – Walter Smith
3. “I like watching people die.” – Mars Krupcheck
4. “You think I’m scared of you, little boy?” – Jennifer Smith (to Mars)
5. “Some jobs, you take home with you.” – Jeff Talley

5 Notes from the Movie

1. Based on a Novel: The film is based on the 2001 novel of the same name by Robert Crais. The movie streamlines some of the more complex crime syndicate subplots from the book.
2. Real-Life Father-Daughter Duo: Bruce Willis’s real-life daughter, Rumer Willis, plays his character’s daughter, Amanda, in the film.
3. Director’s American Debut: “Hostage” marked the English-language directorial debut for French director Florent Emilio Siri.
4. Extensive Research: Before filming, director Florent Emilio Siri spent time with LAPD SWAT officers and hostage negotiators to accurately portray their procedures and mindset.
5. Ben Foster’s Intensity: Ben Foster reportedly stayed in character as Mars Krupcheck throughout much of the production, isolating himself from the rest of the cast to maintain his unsettling persona.

Trailer

They say this picture brought Bond into the “modern era.” Modern era? What’s so great about the modern era? You got computers that crash more than my old Ford, music that sounds like cats fighting in a garbage can, and youngsters with their pants hanging down to their ankles. But he’s still got a stiff drink in one hand and a sharp quip in the other while blowing up bad guys, so maybe, just maybe, this old dog can learn a new trick.

Review by Ben Dover

Well, give me a license to kill and call me 007! Just when I thought the Bond franchise was as dead as disco, along comes “GoldenEye” to prove that sometimes, an old dog can learn new tricks – even if that dog is wearing a tuxedo and has a thing for vodka martinis.

Pierce Brosnan debuts as James Bond, looking so perfectly tailored and coiffed that he makes the previous Bonds look like they shopped at Sears. The man’s jawline is so sharp it could cut diamonds, and he delivers one-liners with the precision of a Swiss watch. After Timothy Dalton’s run (which had all the charm of a tax audit), Brosnan’s Bond is a breath of fresh air – smoother than a well-aged scotch and twice as intoxicating. This Pierce fella’s got a bit of that old-school charm I appreciate. Still not Connery, mind you, but he fills the suit nicely.

The plot? It’s more twisted than my arthritic back. Something about a space weapon, a rogue agent, and the Russians (because it’s always the Russians). It’s like they threw a handful of Cold War clichés into a blender and hit puree. But you know what? It works. It’s classic Bond – preposterous but entertaining as hell. And I do mean preposterous as they literally jump a tank during a car chase, not the car jumping a tank as that is at least plausible, they jump the actual tank. Honestly, who comes up with this stuff? But I’ll admit, it kept my eyes open, even if my ears were ringing for a good hour afterward. They even had a fight on top of a train. Trains! Remember when those were a big deal? Now they’re just something that gets in your way when you’re trying to drive. The action sequences are more over-the-top than a Cirque du Soleil performance. The tank chase through St. Petersburg? The airplane dive? The antenna cradle finale? It’s all gloriously excessive, like watching a ballet choreographed by someone with an explosion fetish.

Sean Bean plays the villain, 006-turned-bad-guy Alec Trevelyan, and boy does he know how to die. The man practically has a PhD in on-screen deaths. He sneers and schemes his way through the movie like he’s auditioning for a Shakespeare villain. It’s delicious.

Famke Janssen steals every scene she’s in as Xenia Onatopp, a woman who literally crushes men between her thighs. In my day, we just called that marriage! She’s having so much fun being bad that you can’t help but root for her a little bit.

The new “M,” played by that Dame Judi Dench, she was alright. A woman in charge? Well, I never thought I’d see the day. She even called Bond a “sexist, misogynist dinosaur.” A bit harsh, if you ask me, but maybe there’s something to that.

Is “GoldenEye” perfect? Nah. Some of the CGI has aged worse than I have. But it’s a rollicking good time that revitalized a franchise many thought was past its prime – much like myself after my fourth cup of coffee.

So, if you want to see where modern Bond began before all those whippersnappers like Ethan Hunt started dangling from ceilings, give “GoldenEye” a watch. It’s a reminder of a time when heroes smoked, drank, and saved the world without needing a support group afterwards.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go fix myself a martini – shaken, not stirred. Some traditions are worth preserving, dammit.

Rating: 4 out of 5 shaken martinis

About the Author (According to Some Folks, Especially After Watching GoldenEye)

Ben Dover is, by his own estimation, a seasoned observer of the human condition and a connoisseur of films that don’t involve too much darn singing and dancing, or leg-squeezing assassins with ridiculous names. Born sometime before they started putting seatbelts in cars, Ben has seen it all, from spies using fountain pens that shoot ink to these newfangled ones jumping off dams like they’re a bunch of darn mountain goats. He’s not afraid to speak his mind, even if his mind tends to dwell on things like how much better spy gadgets were “back in his day” (a good exploding pen beats a satellite that fries your telly any day) and why these young Bond fellas need to stop all the fancy acrobatics and just shoot the bad guys already. Some folks, especially after reading his take on GoldenEye, have unkindly compared his reviewing style to a grumpy badger who’s just had his Lawrence Welk marathon interrupted by a bunch of loud explosions, or that loudmouth kid from that cartoon who’s always complaining about everything. Others, even less charitably, say he reminds them of their Uncle Archie after he’s spent an afternoon yelling at the television about those long-haired rock and roll fellas. Ben just calls it telling it like it is, and if you don’t like it, well, he’s probably too busy wondering why that Judi Dench woman was so darn mouthy to notice.

Stars

• Pierce Brosnan as James Bond (007): The new guy. Seems capable enough, even if he looks like he could use a good, solid meal.
• Sean Bean as Alec Trevelyan (006): Bond’s old partner who went rogue. That Sean Bean, always playing the bad guy. You just know he’s not going to make it to the end of the movie.
• Izabella Scorupco as Natalya Simonova: A Russian programmer who gets caught up in all the spy business. Seems like a smart cookie, for a computer person.
• Famke Janssen as Xenia Onatopp: The villainous lady with the deadly thighs. Honestly, the name alone is enough to make me chuckle.
• Judi Dench as M: The new head of MI6. A woman in charge? What’s the world coming to? But she’s got a stern look about her, I’ll give her that.
• Robbie Coltrane as Valentin Zukovsky: A former KGB agent turned gangster. That fella seems familiar, like I’ve seen him in something with wizards.
• Alan Cumming as Boris Grishenko: A nerdy Russian hacker. Annoying little twerp, if you ask me.

Special Effects

The special effects were certainly… something. All those computer-generated explosions and fancy gadgets. It looked slick, I’ll give them that. But sometimes I miss the days when they just blew up a real car. Seemed more impactful. This CGI stuff, it’s all a bit too clean, too perfect. Like everything these kids do on their picture boxes.

Music

The music was loud and dramatic, full of electronic sounds. It fit the action, I suppose, but it didn’t have any of those memorable themes like the old Bond movies. Nothing you’d hum on the way out of the theater. Just a lot of noise to make the explosions sound bigger.

Synopsis and Plot Breakdown

The movie kicks off with James Bond (Pierce Brosnan) and his fellow 00 agent, Alec Trevelyan (Sean Bean), infiltrating a Soviet chemical weapons facility. Trevelyan is seemingly killed during the mission. Nine years later, a powerful electromagnetic pulse (EMP) weapon, codenamed “GoldenEye,” is stolen from a Russian military base by the Janus crime syndicate. This syndicate is led by none other than… wait for it… Alec Trevelyan, who faked his death! Turns out, he’s got a grudge against MI6 for betraying his Lienz Cossack parents after World War II. Talk about holding a grudge.

The newly appointed M (Judi Dench) assigns Bond to investigate the theft. His investigation leads him to St. Petersburg, where he encounters Valentin Zukovsky (Robbie Coltrane), a former KGB agent turned mobster, who reluctantly helps Bond. Bond also crosses paths with the deadly and, shall we say, physically affectionate assassin Xenia Onatopp (Famke Janssen), who works for Trevelyan. Bond eventually teams up with Natalya Simonova (Izabella Scorupco), a Russian computer programmer who was working at the Severnaya satellite control center when GoldenEye was stolen and is now a target for Janus.

Bond and Natalya travel to Cuba, where Trevelyan has established his secret headquarters hidden beneath a massive satellite dish. There, Trevelyan reveals his plan to use the second GoldenEye satellite to wipe out London’s financial district, causing a global economic meltdown. He intends to transfer billions of pounds before the attack, crippling Britain as revenge for the past. Bond and Natalya manage to infiltrate the base. After a tense confrontation and a lot of explosions, Bond sabotages the satellite dish. Trevelyan falls from the collapsing structure, seemingly to his death again. But wait! He’s not quite dead yet. He tries to pull Bond down with him, but Bond kicks him away, sending him plummeting to his actual, for real this time, death. Bond and Natalya escape just before the whole place blows up, and they are picked up by CIA agent Jack Wade (Joe Don Baker). They end up at Guantanamo Bay for some reason. The end.

Famous Quotes

1. Alec Trevelyan: “For England, James?” James Bond: “No. For me.” (A bit melodramatic, if you ask me. But it’s got that spy movie flair.)
2. M: “You’re a sexist, misogynist dinosaur. A relic of the Cold War.” James Bond: “Well, times have changed.” M: “Not for you.” (Ouch. She really stuck it to him. Maybe she’s got a point.)
3. Boris Grishenko: “I am invincible!” (Famous last words, wouldn’t you say? These young punks are always so cocky.)
4. Xenia Onatopp: “The pleasure will be all mine.” (Said right before she tries to squeeze the life out of someone. This woman has issues.)
5. James Bond: ” спутник разрушен. Прощай, Алек.” (Sputnik razrushen. Proshchay, Alek.) [Satellite destroyed. Farewell, Alec.] (Bond speaking Russian. Fancy. Though I doubt half the audience knows what he’s saying.)

Notes from the Movie

1. This was the first James Bond film to star Pierce Brosnan as 007, after Timothy Dalton hung up his license to kill. They tried to get him way back when Roger Moore retired, but contract issues got in the way. Funny how things work out.
2. “GoldenEye” was the first Bond film made after the fall of the Soviet Union and the end of the Cold War, which is why the villains are former Soviets with a grudge instead of the usual SPECTRE fellas. Times, they are a-changin’.
3. Judi Dench made her debut as M in this film, becoming the first female to portray Bond’s boss. About time they shook things up a bit, even if it did ruffle some old feathers.
4. The famous bungee jump scene at the beginning, off the Verzasca Dam in Switzerland, was done for real. That’s a heck of a way to start a movie, even if it made my stomach churn just watching it.
5. The video game adaptation of “GoldenEye” for the Nintendo 64 was a huge hit and is considered one of the best video games of all time. My grandkids still play that darn thing. Go figure.

Photos

Trailer

Review Notes

Well this is straight action opening, like that

Hey Ethan Hunt copied Bond with the upside down BS

Pierce is one damn good looking Bond

Hey Sean Bean, you know hes gonna die

That chick sure is enjoying fucking guys to death

Why does the satellite thingy only destroy military aircraft with its EMP shoudlnt they have taken down an airliner or something

Governments Change, lies remain the same… great line

This thing is action packed, yet somehow I am a little bored, pacing was just different back then.

Joe Don Baker was fun, still Buford Pusser to me. (walking tall)

This cinematic masterpiece (or, more likely, cinematic mess) sees the return of our favorite alien refugee, Superman, battling a trio of escaped Kryptonian villains led by the oh-so-charming General Zod. Apparently, these guys are even badder than Lex Luthor, which is saying something. Lois Lane is still around, of course, tripping over her own feet and getting into trouble. And Clark Kent? He’s still trying to hide his super-secret identity behind a pair of glasses. Honestly, you’d think people would have figured it out by now.

Review by Ben Dover

Okay, I just finished watching Superman II. Let me tell you, it’s… well, it’s a superhero movie. What else can I say? It’s got all the usual tropes: a hero with a god complex, villains with world domination plans, and a love interest who can’t seem to function without being rescued. It’s like they took all the superhero clichés and threw them into a blender. The result? A movie that’s both exciting and exhausting.

Listen up, you youngsters who think director drama started with Zack Snyder. Superman II has more behind-the-scenes chaos than my second marriage. Richard Donner, who directed most of this film alongside the first one, got kicked to the curb faster than my ex-wife’s lawyer could say “alimony,” and Richard Lester stepped in to finish the job. The result? A movie that’s somehow both great and a mess, like my aunt’s Christmas turkey.

Christopher Reeve returns as the Big Blue Boy Scout, still making us believe a man can fly and that glasses are an effective disguise. This time he’s up against three Kryptonian criminals led by General Zod (Terence Stamp), who chews more scenery than my dog at the furniture store. Stamp delivers the word “KNEEL!” with such conviction you’d think he was ordering at a drive-thru with a broken speaker.

The plot? Superman decides to give up his powers so he can play house with Lois Lane (Margot Kidder). Because apparently being the most powerful being on Earth isn’t as appealing as getting some action in a tinfoil honeymoon suite at Niagara Falls. Real smooth, Supes. Meanwhile, three super-powered criminals are turning Earth into their personal playground. Talk about bad timing.

Gene Hackman returns as Lex Luthor, who breaks out of prison with all the difficulty of a teenager sneaking out to a party. He teams up with Zod and company because apparently being the smartest criminal mastermind means hitching your wagon to the first alien dictator who shows up. Terence Stamp as General Zod, though? He’s the real star of the show. He chews the scenery like it’s a prime rib steak. “Kneel before Zod!” Classic.

The special effects are… well, they’re special effects from the 80s. Some of them are pretty good, but some of the flying scenes, let’s just say they haven’t aged well. The battle in Metropolis remains a highlight, though watching super-powered beings throw each other through buildings hits different after 9/11.

Remember when I said I was going to start throwing popcorn at the screen if I had to watch another damsel-in-distress scene? Well, I did. And I ran out of popcorn.

Now, let’s talk about that ending. Superman kisses Lois to make her forget everything? That’s the kind of plot device that makes soap operas look like Shakespeare. And don’t get me started on how he magically gets his powers back just by pushing a green crystal button. It’s like a reset button on a video game, but with more spandex.

Bottom Line: Despite studio interference that would make a fox in a henhouse look organized, Superman II somehow works. It’s messier than the original but still has enough charm to overcome its cape-sized plot holes. Overall, Superman II is a decent superhero movie. It’s not great, but it’s not terrible either. It’s got some good action scenes, a memorable villain, and some cheesy special effects. If you’re a fan of superhero movies, you’ll probably enjoy it. If you’re not, well, you’ve probably seen worse. I give it two and a half out of five stars. Decidedly middling.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go explain to my grandkids why Superman giving up his powers for a woman is dumber than my decision to get married for the fourth time.

Ben Dover has been banned from multiple comic conventions for suggesting Superman could have solved his romance problems with a Kryptonian dating app. His wife suggests he stop giving relationship advice to superheroes.

Fun Fact: There’s a Richard Donner cut released in 2006 that’s drastically different from the theatrical version. It’s like getting to see your parents’ alternate divorce settlement.

Memorable Quote: “Kneel before Zod!” – General Zod, providing the most quoted lunch lady impression in cinema history.

Best Scene: The Metropolis battle, proving that property damage was a superhero movie staple long before Michael Bay got his hands on a camera.

Starring

Christopher Reeve as Superman/Clark Kent, Margot Kidder as Lois Lane, Terence Stamp as General Zod, Sarah Douglas as Ursa, and Jack O’Halloran as Non.

Special Effects

As mentioned, a mixed bag. Some are impressive for the time, others are laughably dated.

Music

John Williams’ iconic score. Grand and bombastic, as always. Still reminiscent of Star Wars. The music is classic John Williams. You know, the soaring orchestral score that makes every superhero movie sound epic. It’s good, I’ll give it that. But I swear, if I hear that Superman theme one more time, I might just fly to the moon myself.

Rating

2.5/5 Crystal Fortresses (Lost points for making Superman give up his powers to get some action)

Synopsis and Plot Breakdown

Superman II picks up where the first movie left off. General Zod and his Kryptonian cronies, Ursa and Non, escape from the Phantom Zone and head to Earth, looking to take over the world. Meanwhile, Lois Lane is still trying to figure out that Clark Kent is Superman. Superman has to deal with these super-powered villains while also trying to maintain his secret identity and keep Lois safe. It’s a lot to juggle, even for a superhero. Eventually, Superman defeats Zod and his crew, saves the world (again), and manages to keep his secret identity intact. Lois, of course, remains clueless. Roll credits.

Famous Quotes

1. “Kneel before Zod!” – General Zod
2. “Superman, you’re the only one.” – Lois Lane
3. “I live only to serve you, your Highness.” – Ursa
4. “We will rule this planet!” – General Zod
5. “Come on, Superman! Let’s finish this!” – General Zod

Notes

1. That opening at least keeps you from having to watch the first movie, feels like a previously on tv opening.
2. Got Superpeen in opening credits again, wimps could have done it in the bed scene with Lois and Clark, but nooo.
3. Boy, that suit change in the alley was cool, the flying out of the alley was BAD.
4. Actually almost all of the flying scenes are bad, the background is pixelated and Superman is clear in almost all of them making them look decidedly fake.
5. Clark stole those damn hot dogs.
6. The original theatrical release and the director’s cut have some differences, particularly regarding the ending.
7. Terence Stamp considered General Zod one of his favorite roles.
8. The special effects were considered groundbreaking for their time, even if they look a bit dated now.
9. The film was a huge box office success.
10. There were plans for a Superman III even before Superman II was released.
11. The new forgetting power is just stupid. Now he’s got mental powers as well. That sure would have helped in Smallville.

Photos

Trailer

Harrison Ford is back as Indiana Jones, but is this adventure worth taking?

The year is 1969, and the world has changed. The space race is on, and the Cold War is in full swing. But some things never change, like the thrill of adventure. And who better to deliver that thrill than Indiana Jones? In this latest installment, Indy is called upon to stop Dr. Jürgen Voller, a former Nazi working for NASA from obtaining a powerful artifact called the Dial of Destiny, that could change the course of history. But this time, he’s not alone. He’s joined by his goddaughter, Helena Shaw, played by Phoebe Waller-Bridge. Together, they must race against time to save the world. But will they be able to stop the Nazis before it’s too late?

Review: The Adventure That Should’ve Stayed in the Warehouse

Rating: 3.5/5 Whips (Extra half whip for Harrison Ford still being able to throw a punch at 80)

Listen up, you young whippersnappers who think Marvel invented action heroes. Indiana Jones is back for one last ride, and it’s about as necessary as my fourth marriage. Harrison Ford returns at the spry age of 80 to crack his whip one final time, proving that some archaeologists just don’t know when to retire.

The movie opens with a de-aged Ford fighting Nazis in 1944, looking like someone tried to iron out his wrinkles in Photoshop. The effect is about as convincing as my last hair transplant. It’s like watching a wax figure come to life and punch people. The technology might be impressive, but so is my neighbor’s Christmas light display – doesn’t mean I want to stare at it for 20 minutes.

Phoebe Waller-Bridge plays Helena Shaw, Indy’s goddaughter, who’s about as charming as a root canal. She’s supposed to be the new blood in the franchise, but she comes across like someone who learned archaeology from watching YouTube tutorials. Her constant quips make me miss Short Round, and I never thought I’d say that.

The plot revolves around something called the Dial of Destiny, because apparently all the good ancient artifacts were already used in the previous movies. It’s some kind of time-travel MacGuffin created by Archimedes, because that’s exactly what the Indiana Jones franchise needed – time travel. Next thing you know, they’ll have Indy fighting dinosaurs… oh wait, that actually happens. Sort of.

Mads Mikkelsen plays the villain, a Nazi scientist turned NASA engineer, because this movie needed to check every possible box. He’s actually pretty good, but then again, he could read my grocery list and make it sound menacing. The man’s got more charm than all the Bond villains combined, even when he’s spouting nonsense about paradoxes and time loops.

The action sequences are like watching someone try to recreate the greatest hits of the original trilogy, but with more CGI than a Marvel movie. Remember when Indy used to solve problems with his wit and his whip? Now he’s outrunning digital explosions and fighting in zero gravity. It’s like someone threw “2001: A Space Odyssey” into a blender with “Raiders” and hit puree. I do have to give Ford credit though, for much of the movie I fell into believing he could really do some of this stuff that no 80 year old can.

Bottom Line: It’s not the years, honey, it’s the mileage – and this franchise has more miles on it than my first Oldsmobile. Ford gives it his all, but some treasures should stay buried. Now, I’m not saying this movie is all bad. There are some decent action sequences, and the special effects are pretty good. But the plot is about as thin as a politician’s promise. And the dialogue is so cheesy, it could give you a lactose intolerance. I mean, come on! “Nazis? I hate these guys!” Really? That’s the best they could come up with? Overall, I’d give this movie 3.5 out of 5 stars. It’s not the worst movie I’ve ever seen, but it’s definitely not the best. If you’re a die-hard Indiana Jones fan, you might enjoy it. But if you’re looking for a good movie, you might want to look elsewhere.

Fun Fact: Harrison Ford was 79 during filming, making him the oldest action hero since… well, Harrison Ford in the last movie he made.

Memorable Quote: “I don’t believe in magic, but a few times in my life, I’ve seen things. Things I can’t explain.” – Indiana Jones, apparently forgetting he’s seen enough supernatural events to fill a paranormal encyclopedia.

Best Scene: The opening chase through 1969 New York City, if only because it reminds us what these movies used to be like before they went full sci-fi.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go explain to my grandkids why archaeologists don’t typically fight Nazis in space.

Ben Dover has been banned from several archaeological societies for suggesting that their work would be more interesting with more whip-cracking. His wife agrees but won’t specify why.

Some cooler aspects of the film include:

1. Time travel elements: The Dial of Destiny is an Antikythera mechanism built by Archimedes that can reveal time fissures.
2. Action sequences: The movie features classic Indiana Jones-style chases and adventures, including scenes in Tangier and Greece.
3. Historical settings: The story spans from World War II to 1969, incorporating events like the Apollo 11 moon landing.
4. Returning characters: Besides Indiana Jones, the film brings back familiar faces such as Sallah and Marion Ravenwood.

Starring:

• Harrison Ford as Indiana Jones
• Phoebe Waller-Bridge as Helena Shaw
• Mads Mikkelsen as Jürgen Voller
• Antonio Banderas as Renaldo
• John Rhys-Davies as Sallah¹
• Toby Jones as Basil² Shaw

Special Effects:

The special effects are pretty good, especially the de-aging scenes with Harrison Ford. I mean, it’s still Harrison Ford, but he looks a lot younger. It’s kind of creepy, but also kind of cool.

Music:

The music is by John Williams, but it’s not his best work. It’s still pretty good, but it’s not as memorable as his previous Indiana Jones scores. It’s like John Williams just phoned it in. I mean, I know the guy’s getting up there in years, but come on! This is Indiana Jones! We deserve better than this!

Synopsis and Plot Breakdown:

In 1944, Indiana Jones and his colleague Basil Shaw steal the Antikythera, a device created by Archimedes that supposedly can locate fissures in time. They are pursued by Nazi Jürgen Voller, who wants to use the device to change history and win World War II. Twenty-five years later, in 1969, Jones is pulled into another adventure when Basil’s daughter, Helena Shaw, shows up and reveals that her father was obsessed with the Antikythera. She steals half of the device and sets off to find the other half, with Jones in hot pursuit. They are again pursued by Voller, who is now working for NASA. Jones and Shaw travel the globe, following clues left by Basil, and eventually find the other half of the device. They then use it to travel back in time to 212 BC, where they confront Voller and stop him from changing history.

Famous Quotes:

1. “Nazis? I hate these guys!” – Indiana Jones
2. “If you want to go to Sicily, I’m not going to stand in your way.” – Indiana Jones
3. “I’m not a hero. I’m just a guy who likes to get into trouble.” – Indiana Jones
4. “It’s not the years, honey. It’s the mileage.” – Indiana Jones
5. “This is it. This is where it all ends.” – Indiana Jones
6. “You should have stayed in NY” Voller “You should have stayed out of Poland” – Indiana Jones

Notes:

1. This is the fifth and final Indiana Jones movie.
2. I really want one of those little Tuk-Tuks, they look like a blast.
3. De-aging has gotten a lot better in the last few years it still feels a little off, but is so much better than it was before.
4. The movie was filmed in various locations around the world, including the United Kingdom, Morocco, and Italy.
5. The movie features a de-aged Harrison Ford in several scenes.
6. The movie’s soundtrack was composed by John Williams, who has scored all five Indiana Jones movies.
7. The movie was released in the United States on June 30, 2023.

Trailer:

Rating: 4.5/5 Red Capes (Half a cape deducted because nobody recognizes Clark Kent just because he wears glasses)

In 1978, the world was introduced to the Man of Steel in a big way. Superman was a box office smash hit that launched a franchise that would last for decades. The film is still considered to be one of the greatest superhero movies of all time. It is a classic that has been enjoyed by millions of people of all ages.

Review by Ben Dover:

Look, I’ve been watching superhero movies since before Marvel thought spandex was cool, and let me tell you something – “Superman” is what happens when Hollywood actually gets it right. This isn’t your modern-day dark and gritty superhero who needs therapy more than a cape. This is Superman when he was still allowed to smile and wearing underwear on the outside was fashionable.

Christopher Reeve IS Superman. Not “plays” Superman – IS Superman. This former stage actor swoops in and makes you believe a man can fly faster than my ex-wife can spend alimony payments. He switches between bumbling Clark Kent and the Man of Steel so convincingly that you almost forget it’s the same actor, even if you can’t believe that a pair of glasses is all it takes to fool Pulitzer Prize-winning journalists.

Margot Kidder’s Lois Lane is a tornado in high heels, smoking cigarettes and chasing stories with more determination than my neighbor chasing kids off his lawn (which, admittedly, I respect). She’s not some damsel waiting to be saved – she creates half the situations she needs to be saved from. That’s initiative, folks.

Gene Hackman plays Lex Luthor like he’s having the time of his life. His evil real estate scheme might sound ridiculous – trying to profit off California beachfront property by nuking the San Andreas fault – but honestly, in today’s housing market, it almost makes sense. His underground lair looks like what would happen if a Bond villain decorated with leftover props from a 1970s game show, and somehow it works.

The special effects? For 1978, they’re nothing short of miraculous. Sure, by today’s standards, they might look a bit dated, but they have more heart than all the CGI in a modern superhero movie. When Superman flies, you feel it. The tagline “You’ll believe a man can fly” wasn’t just marketing nonsense – it was a promise they actually delivered on.

Director Richard Donner treats the material with respect when most Hollywood types would’ve camped it up more than a Boy Scout jamboree. The first half of the movie is practically a biblical epic, with Marlon Brando earning a criminal amount of money to play Space Moses (aka Jor-El) for about 15 minutes. But you know what? Worth every penny.

The score by John Williams? Pure magic. The moment those opening credits start, with that theme music swelling, you know you’re in for something special. It’s like Wagner decided to write a superhero opera, and it actually worked.

This movie is a classic for a reason. It is a fun, entertaining, and heartwarming film that is sure to please anyone who watches it. The special effects are still impressive today, even though they were made over 40 years ago. Sure, some of them are bad by todays standards, but watching it through the eyes of 12 year old me in 1978 was the greatest thing I ever saw. The acting is top-notch, and the story is engaging.

Overall, I highly recommend this movie to anyone who is looking for a fun and entertaining film to watch. It is a classic that has stood the test of time, and it is sure to be enjoyed by generations to come.

Bottom Line: This is how you do a superhero movie. No angst, no brooding, no two-hour fight scenes that look like a video game. Just pure, unabashed heroism with a side of romance and enough charm to power all of Metropolis.

Rating: 4.5/5 Red Capes (Half a cape deducted because nobody recognizes Clark Kent just because he wears glasses)

Stars:

• Christopher Reeve as Superman
• Margot Kidder as Lois Lane
• Gene Hackman as Lex Luthor
• Marlon Brando as Jor-El
• Ned Beatty as Otis

Special Effects:

The special effects in Superman are still impressive today, even though they were made over 40 years ago. The flying scenes are particularly well done, and they are still able to amaze audiences today.

Music:

The music by John Williams is one of the most iconic scores in film history. It is a beautiful and powerful score that perfectly captures the spirit of Superman.

Plot:

Superman is sent to Earth from the planet Krypton as an infant. He is raised by a couple of farmers in Smallville, Kansas. As he grows up, Superman discovers his incredible powers and decides to use them to help others. He moves to Metropolis and becomes a reporter for the Daily Planet. He also takes on the identity of Superman to fight crime.

Superman soon finds himself battling the evil Lex Luthor, who is determined to conquer the world. Lex Luthor has a plan to use a nuclear weapon to destroy Metropolis. Superman must stop him before it is too late.

Fun Fact: Christopher Reeve actually bulked up 30 pounds for the role instead of wearing a padded suit. Today’s actors just get their abs from CGI, which is about as authentic as my third wife’s accent.

Memorable Quote: “You’ve got me? Who’s got you?!” – Lois Lane, asking the real questions while falling from a helicopter.

Best Scene: The helicopter rescue. No CGI, just practical effects, perfect timing, and more tension than my family reunions.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go explain to my grandkids why a superhero doesn’t need a tragic backstory and seventeen costume changes to be great.

Ben Dover has been asked by several physics professors to stop explaining how a man can fly. His wife suggests he stop trying to leap tall buildings in a single bound.

Quotes:

• “You can’t fight in here! It’s a library!”
• “I’m not a man. I’m a god. And I’m here to help you.”
• “You’re not Superman. You’re just a man in a silly costume.”
• “I’m not going to let you hurt anyone, Lex. Not even you.”
• “I’m not going to let you destroy this city, Lex. Not today. Not ever.”

Notes:

• Superman was directed by Richard Donner and produced by Alexander Salkind and Ilya Salkind.
• The film was a box office success, grossing over $300 million worldwide.
• It was nominated for three Academy Awards, including Best Visual Effects.
• Superman is considered to be one of the greatest superhero movies of all time.

Photos:

Trailer:

Review Notes:

Love the 1930’s comic opening
Damn this music gets me.
Kind of cool having most credits up front of the movie.
Love the spaceship fitting in with the theme like the fortress of solitude.
Super Peen!
I like how they handled the special effects from the 50’s looking less good and moving through the movie and time getting better, interesting choice that makes you feel the time jumps.
Speaking of.. poor Jeff East gets no credit even though he was Clark for half the damn movie.
Im guessing cause like everyone else my memories in my head of this movie mostly start when Clark enters the Fortress of Solitude.
I forgot how funny this is, the phone cubby is hilarious and Lois’ banter with Clark is amazing, do you like pink?
The helicopter rescue scene might be the best use of music I have ever seen in a movie.
Montage time lol
Bad Vibrations… damn great line delivery by Supes
Lois lives in a penthouse apt as a reporter for the paper.. OK
After their little romantic interlude I love how Clark comes in and looks at his glasses like I cant even believe this shit works.

Only two nitpicks, reversing time is stupid as is stopping the earthquake. just a little too far unrealistic.